234: Mailbag Mondays - Tarot and the Inner Critic
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Welcome to Mailbag Mondays on Tarot for the Wild Soul podcast, loves -- a sweet lil summer segment where I answer some of the lovely Q's that come through the Ask Lindsay mailbag!
Air date:
July 10, 2023
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About the Episode
Welcome to Mailbag Mondays on Tarot for the Wild Soul podcast, loves -- a sweet lil summer segment where I answer some of the lovely Q's that come through the Ask Lindsay mailbag!
Today, we answer a listener's question about how to silence or minimize the inner critic that can come popping out during our Tarot pulls.
Lindsay’s Links:
Sign up for Lindsay's new offering, The Court Cards, coming out on July 28th!
Learn more about Lindsay and dive into all of their courses, journal posts, and free resources here!
Got Q's for the podcast? Ask them here!
Download the (free!) Ultimate Soul Tarot Card Guide here
PODCAST EDITOR: Chase Voorhees
PODCAST TRANSCRIPTIONISTS: Meghan Lyman, Terri Wanjiku, Annelise Feliu, Valerie Cochran
PODCAST ART: Rachelle Sartini Garner
Land Acknowledgement
Honoring and acknowledging that this podcast episode was recorded on the unceded land of The Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde, currently called Portland, OR, with the deepest respect to the Kalapuya Tribe, Cowlitz Tribe, and Atfalati Tribe.
Please Note
CW Tags: relationship to body, trauma, capitalistic structures, inherited generational patterns, trauma related to industrialized beauty standards, and childhood trauma
The content in this episode contains references to relationship to body, trauma, capitalistic structures, inherited generational patterns, trauma related to industrialized beauty standards, and childhood trauma. We have done our best to identify difficult subject matter, but the labels may not be comprehensive for your personal needs. Please honor your knowing and proceed with necessary self-awareness and care.
Transcript
[Introduction]
[0:00:05]
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(Instrumental intro music)
Welcome to Tarot for the Wild Soul, a podcast that explores the Tarot through an inclusive, soul-centered, trauma-informed perspective for growth, healing, and evolution. I'm your host, Lindsay Mack.
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Hello, loves, it’s Linds. Welcome back to a new episode of Tarot for the Wild Soul podcast. Thank you so much as always, for being here. I love gathering with all of you. And yeah, happy to be back. Because of the timing of Monthly Medicine, we kind of organically had a week off last week, but now we're back. So we're going to be doing something different for the next basically two months until September. I always take off for the summer, historically, for this podcast. Not… I guess I've said always. Pretty historically. And I don't know why, just this year, I didn't want to. But I wanted to do something a little bit lighter on the ears, lighter on my shoulders. And so I decided to do what we're going to call Mailbag Summer (Lindsay laughs), where each episode outside of our Monthly Medicines, which will still be presented in their usual way, all of the other weeks during the summer are going to be me just answering a listener question, then going on my merry way; so it’ll be nice and short. Honestly with me, probably not that much shorter, but you know, I have to believe that there'll be some time saved. And that's just feeling really delightful. So I just want to say that if you have questions for me that you've always wanted me to answer on the pod, there's no question too simple. Sometimes there are questions that are a little bit more complex than what I feel I can sort of artfully present on this platform. But write me. The Ask Lindsay link is always in the show notes, so pop in there, you know. Let me know what you think. Let me know what's going on.
Another really quick, just little “dropperoo” before I hop into our question for the day is that I have a new little baby course that's going to be going live in a couple of weeks that's called, quite simply, The Court Cards. And it is exactly what it sounds like. It's a little friend. It's a little course. It's under $100. So not enormous and prolific the way you might imagine like a super intensive deep dive on all of these cards might be. But I made this as just a love letter for anyone who struggles with The Court Cards; try as they might, just cannot form a basis of understanding for them. That's what… Hopefully, it's successful, but that is the intention behind this offering that will be coming out in about two weeks. It's little audio lessons, it's a little workbook, it's a little Q&A database with my answers to some of your most frequently sort of asked questions. We might even build on it going forward so that future folks can also… Like, current participants can ask questions that haven't been answered or haven't been addressed. I'm really excited about it. And it's in your show notes so if you have a calling to it, if you want to share it with somebody that you know who has always struggled with Court Cards. The whole heart and purpose of the course is sort of helping you to, again, form a new scaffolding around your perception of these cards so that your own innate relationships with them can blossom forth. So yeah, I'm really excited for that little friend, and hopefully, you love it too.
[0:04:34]
So we're gonna dive in. The title of this episode is called “Tarot and the Inner Critic”. Before I get to this question that is all about this from a lovely listener named Audrey, I just want to say that the inner critic, as far as Tarot readings go, eventually, I think, largely dies away with time and with a lot of practice. And when I say practice, I don't mean in the, I don't know, the capitalist sense of like, grind it down to the bone. I mean just a joyful, easy flow where sometimes the flow is a little bit more juicy. We're working with Tarot all the time. We're working with people. You know, we're getting some feedback that feels really clean and really… I don't know if anything can ever truly be safe, but safer (Lindsay laughs), you know? We're learning, you know? It's a practice-based art. And it is very normal, even if we've been reading for a long time, to have a really harsh, sometimes cruel inner critic come out and kind of try to… It's almost like driving a stick into a bicycle wheel spoke while we're riding it. It's like we flip end over end and it makes us just completely not know how to trust our pulls. And it warps them, you know, into something really lovely, and then we think, “Well, fuck, am I an asshole for pulling this or…?” (Lindsay laughs) You know? It makes it really, really hard.
So we're going to dig into this with this question, but I just wanted to sort of tee it up and frame it up. And just name that there is not a Tarot reader walking among us or traveling among us that does not have an inner critic that is sometimes so savage, or has been so savage. And there's weirdly a very understandable reason why it happens, and so we're going to talk about that. But first, I'm gonna actually read our question, again from Audrey. And Audrey says,
Hi, Lindsay. Thank you, as always, for all the work you do in guiding us on our journeys.
Thank you, Audrey.
My question today is how we can take our inner critic out of our readings (or at least minimize). I find that frequently I pull a card, and if there's even a hint that it invites us into self-examination or rebalancing, I spiral (and not in the good way spiralic lol). As an example, every time I pull Six of Pentacles, I feel a sense of dread. It feels like it's telling me to stop being so selfish. Even though I know logically that's not true, it feels so true. When you talked about Queen of Pentacles and checking in with the body, I turned it into a guilt over not being active enough. So how do we accept the cards as benevolent without disregarding the hard work they sometimes call for? Thank you again.
Thank you, Audrey, for trusting me with your question. So I want to first just begin with like, opening my arms to you and reflecting my solidarity with you. Because Tarot is a very powerful space. It's a very powerful mirror. And it is, I believe, when… I kind of believe it's like this all the time, but we can just get very far away from that idea, you know? It is a bridge and a road back home to the heart. And every pull, because there are no bad cards, is medicine and is a mirror that can help us to befriend ourselves, tend to ourselves. There may be hard work in sight of that, but it's not hard work in the way that I think our brains, our society, and our overculture prize hard work. Like Puritan ethic hard work, right? We're always being invited to do our work, but there can be joy, there can be a homecoming, there can be grace, even when it feels really sticky or really spiky. So not to bypass anything but it is, I think, just an invitation to know that the work that is sometimes asked of us in these cards and the joy, the homecoming that's possible can be one and the same. They can hold hands and coexist inside of this. And that takes a little time, you know?
[0:09:47]
You specifically asked me how we can take our inner critic out of our readings, or at least minimize that inner critic. So I want to talk to you about how to do this, and I want to talk to you about why your inner critic is here in the first place, and maybe get curious with you about what it wants. What its objective is, right? So without like… I don't want to speak like I have some sort of fucking gravitas here, I'm all-knowing—because I'm not (Lindsay laughs), you know? And I'm going to speak about these things with a little bit of a broad brush. So just take that for what it is and take it with a bit of a grain, perhaps, of salt. The self critic, the inner critic is… We could call it a branch on, I want to say the brain tree (Lindsay laughs). Of course it's connected to, you know, our thoughts, our beliefs. That inner critic is a part of us that…some part of us that the volume got turned up very, very loud. And what does the inner critic generally want us to do? Sometimes the inner critic wants to incentivize us to do something; to move when we maybe don't want to. Sometimes the inner critic wants us to stop.
What I believe is underneath almost every inner criticism, even as savage as it might be, I believe with… You know, I'm not a professional. I’m not a mental health professional, so I just… Really, there could be a lot more nuance to this. Probably is. But a lot of the time, that inner critic is attempting to, in a very warped way, protect us from something. So if the inner critic is screaming at me about the way my body looks today, what's underneath that? There's a desire for me to be okay. There's old stories I've picked up on from my family, from the world, from society, that there might be something wrong with the way my body is in its incarnation and if I don't do anything about it, XYZ is going to happen. And then it paints this terrible picture about what that would mean and… It's not me. It's not me. It was inherited; something that was planted in my garden that isn't my truth. It's not my truth, you know? And the way that I know that it's not my truth is that it invites me into shrinking, it invites me into a feeling of being bad, a feeling of needing to scramble and figure it all out and kick my own ass into something. Right? But I understand as unhelpful and as warped as it is, that inner critic is trying to protect me in some way.
And I want to unpack the two things you mentioned here, and these examples were very, very helpful, right? So your inner critic when you pull Six of Pentacles telling you to stop being so selfish, when were you told…at what point were you told, or shown, or modeled that it was not okay to sense into your own needs, to sense into your own personal equilibrium in terms of what you're receiving and what you're giving? Because while I do think there's a case to be made for Six of Pentacles to be an interrogation perhaps of people or of… You know, people who belong to specific groups being very aware maybe about the space they're taking up or the resources they're calling forward, or demanding, or stealing straight up. Most of the time this card—I'm talking like, almost 100% of the time—is going to present to us as just a gentle ask, you know, just a gentle reflection point, like: where are we today? Where are we today? Do we have something to give? Might we give it joyfully? Is it really important for us to receive?
[0:15:08]
So my guess…and you're really welcome to correct me. Email me and offer a correction. The more challenging aspect of Six of Pentacles, as far as this energy goes, is the receiving piece. It's really hard for us—if we feel like our tank is empty, our cup is empty—to believe that it's okay for us to pause and refill that tank and refill that cup. And if that is too uncomfortable for us, if that brings up way too much stuff, the brain, the inner critic is going to call us in. A great option is to say you're selfish. Because that, while shitty and horrible, might feel more familiar. It might feel a little bit more grooved to us than like, “Maybe I deserve to take a little space. Maybe I deserve to, like, book that bodywork. I'm exhausted. Maybe I deserve to, like, take a little time.” That's very uncomfortable for most of us, so I just want to name that. I'm not saying you have to like your inner critic. But I do see how it might be attempting to protect you from a deeper discomfort, which has to do with feeling like you can receive too, you know?
With Queen of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles does not require activity. Queen of Pentacles does not require movement. They ask, they call us back to actually a lot more like, can you kind of lay on the grass and just let the earth hold you, and remember that that's enough too? That you're a part of that and that you deserve that, and that that's your birthright too. So we get called out of that gentleness, which is very hard to just be with, right? Like, we're on our phones, we're here, we’re there and everywhere. It is hella uncomfortable to just kind of kick it and be without anything else going on, without needing to document it (Lindsay laughs). And there's nothing wrong with that. But just to kind of land in the space, how uncomfortable that is, right? So it's about checking in with the body and letting the body lead. It's not about corralling the body. It's not about being like, “Oh, I have to move you. I have to be active.” And perhaps you were mentioning the word active with regard to like, “Oh, I should be more active with checking in.” No card is coming up to scold you or shame you, you know? It's not doing that to you.
All of the things that I'm sort of placing into words right now are how in order to kind of turn the volume down on this inner critic. Your Tarot readings are an invitation to shift the power structure that exists within, I guess, you as it relates to the inner critic. So when the inner critic arises in your readings, it arising, you can see it as like, oh, this is a space in which I can actually talk directly to this part of me and say, “Ugh, critic. You know, I hear ya. I do. You know, I wonder if you're pulling me into the story that I'm selfish because it actually feels a little scarier to question whether or not we need support.” And based on maybe what you heard in your family lineage, maybe what was going on in the community or the area in which you were raised, or what was around you, maybe that does feel really uncomfortable. That's for sure in my lineage, you know. So telling the part of you, “That story that I'm selfish isn't true, but I understand that you're probably trying to protect me from something.” And then you turn back to your deck and you say, “Spirit, how can I..” or cards, or Guides, or inner wise self, “What is the truth? My inner critic, my brain is telling me I’m selfish. What's actually true?” And then you pull a card. And you just kind of keep doing that.
[0:20:27]
It's not the truth of you. And I know you know it isn't, but when you can see it for what it is, a part of you that is probably pretty fucking wary of this tool (Lindsay laughs) that's calling you into all kind… And these two energies… I’m sure that this happens with other ones. I find it very interesting that you opted to tell me about two cards that are basically like, “Fill your cup. Receive. Be with the body. Open to the body.” Maybe, possibly, there's a part of that that feels really uncomfortable to some part of you. And if it does, Audrey, fucking join the club. Because that is, I mean, I would say more common than not. I'm certainly… It’s taken me years to sort of just catch that voice before it takes the wheel and moves me in a different direction than I really want to go to.
The inner critic doesn't necessarily go away. But you can shift it to the backseat of the car, where you have a completely different relationship with it. It's not driving the car. And what I would invite you to think about is that this is a part of what a soul-led Tarot practice often brings us home to is the unexamined or buried stories, beliefs, inner criticisms, brain invitations that exist within all of us. All of us. It's not an accident that I have certain trigger points, certain invitations into triggers around certain cards. It just isn't. There are certain things as a trauma survivor, as just a person living in my body in this life that are scarier for me. They're a little bit more activated for me. I might be really good friends with that card, but that still doesn't mean that I don't have some big feelings about what it could mean; what it might mean. Right?
So the way that you minimize, the way you turn the volume down on it is that you actually take its presence as a little mindfulness bell, a little call to address it really frankly head-on and kind of weave in, into the reading. That is a rhythm of intuitive channeling work that is never discussed ever. That intuitive work, Tarot work, the presence of the brain or of the critic or whatever, inside of that, that it is somehow… It shouldn't be there. When this is the work we do to actually shift the relationship we have with that part of us. When that part of us comes up, it’s… We can get curious. We don't have to believe it. It's not true. It might make us feel like shit (Lindsay laughs), you know, but we can practice over time being like, “Ah, inner critic, there you are. How interesting. That must probably mean there is something really expansive about this card that you are uncomfortable with, and I want to know why. What about this feels uncomfortable to me? Who put that story there? Do I believe that if I'm laying down on the grass, and I'm not paying attention, and I close my eyes—does it feel safe to do that? You know, quite literally, does it feel safe? And if not, what's a place that it might feel safe to do that? Maybe not out on the grass somewhere. Maybe in my bed with the sun shining down on me. Maybe that feels a little safer.”
[0:24:51]
Sometimes it's about just baby-stepping our way into it. So I wonder if… You mentioned specifically self-examination or rebalancing, that it makes you spiral. Sometimes we also just need to root in some reminders that we're a good person to ourselves. That we can claim that. That we can examine ourselves fairly, and objectively, and compassionately, while sturdying a fragility that might be living within us, you know? A lot of us carry that fragility. And I'm not necessarily defining what you've told me as such, but I do think whether we're opting to call it fragility or whether we're opting to call it something different, the root of this is that there's a wobbliness in us, right? There's a lack of rooted, resourced clarity. And, you know, I was raised by someone who… I have memories of being four or five years old and her just telling me really how I was just bad, that I couldn't do anything right to my face, you know, and has really attempted, and still does, to poison… She just has a really terrible view of me. And I've spent most of my life really just tending to my inner kid and being like, “You are good. You are so good. You are such a good, sweet person, and you're gonna fuck up, and you're gonna make mistakes, and people are gonna hold you accountable. And you can hold the both/and of it.” But whew, is it hard with that wounding in place, you know?
So it's all, I think… I hate it when fucking people do this and they generalize, so I don't want to generalize. But I do think there's something inside of most of our inner critics that come back to some really warped form of attempting to—maybe not protection, but attempting to keep us out of something pretty vulnerable. So you get to investigate and discover why that might be there. And that is one of the gifts of having our inner critic pop up when we read. But for anyone listening to this, under any circumstance, if the inner critic pops up, or if there's a really strong story about how “we fucked up, it's not okay, we're selfish, you should have done that, this card is here because you made a mistake or you XYZ, or something bad is gonna happen”. It's very easy just our nervous systems to just feel like, “Oh my God, could this be true?” It's rarely true. And in fact, I find almost never true. Even if there's something inside of what the inner critic is saying, it very rarely feels like what it describes it as.
So, again, we just want to say, like, “Oh man, inner critic, you're here right now. Whoa. Let me look more into why this is. Let me really be with this. And let me go back to my deck and ask a couple of follow-ups to help get clear about what's actually going on here.” It's helping you to get closer to some of these cards. There’s something in them that might feel uncomfortable, you know? And I would say, do some investigative sensing in and then write me back and see what you've discovered. See what happens and see if… You know, I find that the relationship to my inner critic really changes when I just really don't identify with it. When I'm just like, “Wow, you are here and you are so… You're being really savage right now. It must really…” Because my brain only really talks to me that way when it's afraid. That's at the bottom of it. It's afraid of something. It's afraid we won't be okay; that I won't be safe. My brain’s really brutal to try to be helpful (Lindsay laughs), so it's been a very big rewiring. But again, this is not therapy. So that's what I would say, you know, is to get curious about what's happening underneath the…in the invitation of that card that might feel a little uncomfortable for us? So that's what I have for you.
Thank you for writing me about this, Audrey. Thank you for listening to this episode, everyone. Send me your Q’s. I'm loving Mailbag… Technically, it's Mailbag Mondays for this summer on the podcast, so I will see you next week for the next Mailbag Monday. And until then, just please take sweet care of yourselves. You deserve it.
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[Conclusion]
[0:24:51]
This podcast was edited by Chase Vorhees, podcast art by Rochelle Sartini Gardener, and this episode was transcribed by one of our absolutely brilliant and beautiful transcriptionists, all of which you can learn more about or read about on our website tarotforthewildsoul.com.
If you wish to dive into more of my work, learn more about Soul Tarot, work with me in any kind of capacity, I'm always creating new things for us to do together, but you can find out all about our self-led courses, and classes, and new offerings on tarotforthewildsoul.com. And if you want to be the first to know about any new offerings, any new projects that I'm doing, if you want to benefit from discounts and early birds, and all kinds of lovely newsletter-only offerings, you can sign up for the newsletter at the link in our show notes.
And finally, if you have a question for me to answer at the podcast, or if you'd like to work with me live on the podcast, or if you'd like your question answered on the podcast, please click the link to Ask Lindsay and send me your Q’s. Thank you so much for being here.