191. Monthly Medicine: September is Permission
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The pod is back, baby! We're launching into a three episode drop with a Monthly Medicine download for the month of September -- back by popular demand!
Air date:
August 31, 2022
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About the Episode
The theme for September is Permission. The invitation of the cycle ahead offers us a golden opportunity to cultivate and reclaim the sovereign permission to reflect, to breathe, to get more comfortable, to clarify for ourselves what we want, and what we don't want. With our Anchors for the month, which are Three of Pentacles, Six of Cups, and Two of Cups, we will dive into the medicine for September, how to work with these invitations, a bit about Virgo and Libra seasons, and so much more! (Plus, I have an announcement about a new offering + a big sale that's going to knock your socks off!)
Transcript for this episode is coming soon!
Links:
Learn about Spiralic Tarot, Lindsay’s new channeled download for the seasons ahead!
Check out our Wild Soul Retirement Sale and get up to 50% off of some of our most beloved offerings!
Soul Tarot Courses + Workshops
Land Acknowledgement
Honoring and acknowledging that this podcast episode was recorded on the unceded land of The Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde, currently called Portland, OR, with the deepest respect to the Kalapuya Tribe, Cowlitz Tribe, and Atfalati Tribe.
Please Note
CW Tags: inherited generational patterns, systemic oppression, illness, death, ableism, anxiety, abuse, capitalistic and patriarchal structures, and parenthood
The content in this episode contains references to inherited generational patterns, systemic oppression, illness, death, ableism, anxiety, abuse, capitalistic and patriarchal structures, and parenthood. We have done our best to identify difficult subject matter, but the labels may not be comprehensive for your personal needs. Please honor your knowing and proceed with necessary self-awareness and care.
Transcript
[Introduction]
[0:00:05]
Welcome to Tarot for the Wild Soul, a podcast that explores the Tarot through an inclusive, soul-centered, trauma-informed perspective for growth, healing, and evolution. I'm your host, Lindsay Mack.
Hello Loves and welcome back to Tarot for the Wild Soul podcast. We're back. We're back with new eps, we're back with a new seas’. Monthly medicines are back, by extremely popular demand. Thank you. Really, sincerely, thank you to everybody who wrote in to us and just really respectfully and politely were like, “Please bring these back.” (Lindsay laughs) I heard you. It feels really good to bring them back.
For a little while, I was just energetically unavailable to kind of channel and cast this way, but it feels really good now. So for however long they'll be here, whether you're an old, you know, very loyal listener, brand new—one thing I can promise you is that I get bored very easily, and I grow very readily, and very often want to try and experiment with new things. But I think that we're going to be rooting into this rhythm for a little while. So for however long Monthly Medicines are back, I'm happy that they're here, and I am very happy to be here with you.
We've got such a good season coming up: talking about all different kinds of Tarot cards, ways to use them, different topics, answering your questions. We have guests for the first time in forever. That feels really new and exciting. I'm not even going to tell you what I have coming up, but you're going to be very excited.
I have two little announcements before I get to the heart and the root of this episode, which is the Monthly Medicine channel download for September. One, I'm having a retirement sale that ends tomorrow, September the first. I'm retiring five of, really, pretty beloved offerings by folks. I'm retiring Tarot for What Is, From Fear to Medicine, Nourishing the Wild Heart, Tarot for the Underworld, and Boundaries and Self-Care for the Wild Soul, essentially, just to make room for all of the bazillions of things (Lindsay laughs) that I'm currently making right now, and because I feel like those offerings, while beautiful, have really served the community and served their purpose, and it's sort of time to compost them. So they're all 50% off, and all have really generous payment plans. And so if you'd like to dig in and take advantage of that—you can gift them, as well—you can go to the link in my show notes and just see those are available, again, today and tomorrow.
And secondly, I'm really excited to announce a new thing that I'm going to be doing, a brand new offering, that's going to be sort of a regular part of the flow of my offerings, which is called Spiralic Tarot. You can read all about it at the link in the show notes but just to TL;DR, in terms of what it is, it is channeled monthly Tarot medicine for the seasons and the Wheel of the Year. So while we do Monthly Medicine now on this podcast, Spiralic Tarot focuses on the astrological signs in each season of the year. So for example, the one that I'm working on right now, it moves from Fall, Fall Equinox, to Winter Solstice. So there will be—for Libra season, Scorpio season, and Sagittarius season—there will be Tarotscopes for each sign for each of those seasons. There will be Anchor Cards for each one, there'll be lessons on how to work with the cards at hand.
So for example, for Libra season we have Justice. We have, as an extension of that, Empress, because Venus is connected to Libra. We will also talk about the element of Air in the Tarot for that entire kind of seasonal piece, how to work with the Swords. There are prompts, rituals, Tarot spreads. It’s just so, so, so generous, and it's only 33 bucks. So this is basically a way of making an incredibly accessible, really granular, and also very generous and expansive roadmap for each kind of spiral of the year, each season, each cycle of the year, so that there's just really a kind, friendly, benevolent buddy, like lantern, Anchor, offering for those of you who might feel called to it.
It's been something that's been on my heart to make and create for literally years, I tried to do something like it with The Sacred Wheel, but it became sort of too, honestly, just too difficult to manage. Again, this is so much more accessible, it's so much more sort of clear and focused, and honestly, I'm having a complete fucking blast doing it. So I'm so pumped to share it. So yeah, to learn more about that go to the link in the show notes.
Two important things to know about it: one, there's going to be an earlybird for it available only to my newsletter subscribers. It's 33 and still, that earlybird will still be just a slight discount from that already, very, sort of generous price point. That's going to happen from September 6 to the 8th. I'll give you another kind of heads up about that at the next episode. Two, finally, is that if you sign up for this offering before September 19, you'll be eligible to participate in a special Q&A roundup with me that will be recorded. But you will have a chance to have your question answered or possibly written. Like it may be recorded, I might write back, depending on the amount of questions that I have, but it will be a really lovely way to interact with one another and have a potential question answered that might be on your heart.
So again, I have lots more other things cooking in the kitchen, but that one is coming up. That's the first sort of new one that I'm offering. So I hope everyone loves it. And I am really excited to be of service to y'all, to whoever might be interested in that in this way. Okay, now that the self-promotion hour is over, onto September, onto Monthly Medicine.
[0:07:14]
So the theme for the month of September is “Permission to Be.” So permission, right? What we're talking about when we center on, when we think about, when we drop in with the feeling that comes with permission to be is really, simply, a liberation, an allowance, an ability to consider that we can be as we desire to be, when we desire to be, in whatever way we desire to be. It’s permission to be as we are, in whatever way is accessible to us, even if it's with ourselves in a moment of sacred solitude; permission to breathe, reclaiming that permission to breathe; to exhale, to inhale just a little more, to let that go; permission to be even 10% more comfortable, even as you are listening to this; permission to go a little slower, permission to go a little faster, permission to do this or that. It's a soul thing, it's an energetic thing: permission to be. We can acknowledge it, must acknowledge it.
In terms of earthly pieces, the overculture, not all of us have, or feel that we have, permission to be as we are. We're living with people, with caretakers who are not supportive of our identity, of our lifestyle. We're living, many of us, in countries where there are extreme regulations around all manner of things: of identity, of bodily sovereignty, reproductive rights. We have to acknowledge that not all of us, quite literally, have permission to be.
What we're talking about here is what is accessible, what is tangible, and what is available inside of the heart. It is a reclaiming, internally, of the places in terms of where we can control, where we do have that accessibility, that ability to reach for something tangibly. Where do we stop ourselves from it? Perhaps we've been in a situation where we did not have that permission. Now we do. How are we still potentially replicating those patterns of “Oh, I can't be this, I can't quite do that; it's not safe to breathe, it's not safe to let go; I can't be 10% more comfortable,” and yet, all of those sorts of barriers are gone or some of them are gone?
It's much more common than we think it is to reflect on where things have changed, and yet our animal body has maybe not caught up completely. So there's, again, two rings to that: total acknowledgement that, for some of us, those barriers, those guardrails, those pieces are still in place; the permission isn't completely ours. And while that's terrible, we do want to acknowledge, like, that's a place right now that is inaccessible, and let's hope that changes on every level for you, literally, yesterday, and there still is another concentric circle inside of that, that has to do with what we can reclaim internally, what we can hold, what we can say yes to, even if we can't fully exude it today, right, or right now. So it has to do with an internal reclaiming. That's what this month is really about.
[0:11:22]
September really weaves—not really, literally—weaves together Virgo season and Libra season. And Virgo season prepares us for the shift out of the summer and the movement into the autumn, here in the northern hemisphere. Virgo organizes, it lines things up, it clarifies. It gets everything prepared so that there can be a flow. Virgo season is typically when everything starts to shift, everything starts to be channeled through; things start to form themselves, they alchemize, they start to change. It can't really happen without the container being built.
So if we're thinking about, like, how do we weave this theme together with that idea, what we're essentially being invited to do—and it is heavy duty, big time, internal work. The internal really has to happen before the external does—we're preparing for something. We're preparing to collect, we're preparing to really be a vessel for something to come through us. We're preparing for greater permissioning, we're preparing for greater autonomy, even if that doesn't feel accessible yet. And we're being invited to review: where have the circumstances changed, and where am I still living like they haven't? That's really the question for this month. It's a preparation, in many ways, and an invitation to take an inventory of where we deny ourselves the permission to be and where it doesn't feel like, whether real or imagined, we are not able, we don't have that permission. Right?
[0:13:25]
Our card for the month ahead for the month of September is Three of Pentacles. This card is working with us. The invitation of it is working with us in a lot of different ways, a lot. Certain months bring certain things to the table. We have bridge months which, to me, are months that really serve to kind of bring us from one place into another.
I often feel like February is a really big bridge month. I feel like August is a big bridge month, in a weirder way (Lindsay laughs). August is strange because it's often very nebulous, sort of like we're out and off and over here. And September kind of, like, brings everything back in, and it's not just because from a great deal of the world, this is a “back to school” time. There's something about a preparation and a seasonal shift that I think all of us feel, again, in that animal body. So because September does a lot of stuff, it moves us from summer into autumn here, in the Northern Hemisphere, and in the southern hemisphere it does the opposite, and it, again, prepares us, allows us to take an inventory, so that we can start to focus on what wants to be shed. It's a very interesting thing.
If we’re talking about March, which is sort of the oppositional piece here for us in the Northern Hemisphere, the month of March brings us from Pisces season to Aries season, from the last little breaths of winter into spring, and it's really intense. It's often a pretty bumpy ride (Lindsay laughs). And for many of us that can feel that way in September as well, and yet, there is… it's not. March is different, in a way, because we're preparing to bloom.
We’re planting things and preparing to bloom. We’re tending something that we're going to cultivate. Eventually, it's going to grow to its fullest capacity, or it won't. And then we'll harvest, and we’ll compost, and we'll feast. Now, there's like a rich, golden, you know, harvest available to us in the fall, to be sure, but we're really preparing to slow down, and that's what the equinoxes really do. They're a real pitch point that then lead us into either an expansion or a big contraction. And contraction is fine, expansion is fine. It's just sort of what's happening.
[0:16:20]
Three of Pentacles is our collective lantern, anchor point, to really help us in this particular month. So what Three of Pentacles is really inviting us to pay attention to this month is focused in the theme of bringing what we currently have available to us to the collective, universal table, and absolutely trusting that it's enough.
Three of Pentacles is a card of collective care, it is a card of organization, it is a card of mobilization, it is a card of people working together for a greater whole. That is what it does, and that is why the Pentacles are all about soul work, all about how we plant seeds, how we're bringing our soul work to the world.
And how interesting, that right at the beginning of our journey with the Pentacles, the Pentacles is like: you're not an island, you cannot do this work alone. Like, literally, it is impossible for you to be alone in this work for good, or for challenging, right? Like, we're not alone, even though it might feel that way. We're always doing something, we're always influencing each other, we're always helping one another. And maybe on the more challenging end, it can be difficult not to compare ourselves, not to think like, “Ugh, this person is doing something I want to do. This person is further than me. This person might get close to where I am,” you know.
Sometimes we can go into those, like, super, super, heavy-duty, colonialist, comparative, “they're going to outpace me”, “they're going to win”, “they're going to…”, like those really big, patriarchal, capitalist pieces are in us, and it's a big unlearning to move away from that. We can also apply those capitalistic precepts to ourselves and say, “I should be further. This should be better. I should be able to do X, Y, Z. Why can't I do X Y, Z?” Right?
Three of Pentacles comes in with a huge, huge exhale and a, really, quite radical, quite liberating opportunity to say: it is impossible for you to not be building something with other people, and what you have to bring to the table is valuable. It matters. Whether it is very neutral, whether it is very provocative, whether it is very quiet, whether it is very subtle, whether it is extremely overt, whether there are lots and lots of people who are interested in it, or not a lot of people, what we do matters. And we have the opportunity to tilt that work into nourishment for the greater good, into building a better world, into actively seeking to collaborate, to open, to mobilize, to create together, rather than independently. The key to doing that is to be very clear about what you are available to offer.
[0:20:17]
Pentacles are rooted in body care. They are. They're rooted in the understanding that we are human beings, limited, finite beings, in other words, we will die, we get sick; that are running capable of running huge, and beautiful, inspiration and creation and art and birth and loss and channeled stuff—like, whatever you may want to call that—running massive things through us, hugely beautiful things, that are absolutely connected to something greater than us. And there are limits to what we have, in terms of energetic capacity. There are seasons of our lives where we're working a little bit more quietly, we're working to support; we’re very visible, where our circle’s very large; it's very intimate. It's really about honoring that where we are is where we are. How can we give ourselves permission to be there?
So that's the first kind of pin that I want to put in what September is bringing. How can we give ourselves permission to be where we are right now? Many of us are burned out, many of us are exhausted, many of us don't want to do anything (Lindsay laughs), or we don't want to do as much of what we were doing, or we're working harder than we ever have, and maybe we love that, maybe we don't. Right?
Many of us are taking an inventory and saying life is short. It is short, and yet very long at the same time. In other ways, you know, what matters to me? What do I feel called to bring? How can I actually move out of the way and give this gift or this ability or this service back to somebody who is sort of, that's a part of their root system, that is a part of their medicine? How can I move into my own medicine? How can I be comfortable, maybe not knowing what that is? How can I be of service in a really humble way until that's clear to me? Permission to be and to create from that place; trusting that it is enough, even if it might not feel that way.
[0:22:48]
We're also being invited to take sort of an inventory of those whispers, those nudges: is there anything we could be leaning into that we're not that maybe we're afraid of? Maybe we don't feel like we totally have permission, and it's not coming from a rooted sense of truth? I go through that all the time. Like, whoa, I don't have permission to do that. I don't have permission to do this. There are times where something isn't mine to discuss, to talk about, to teach about. Certainly, there's plenty of that. But there are times where that's just coming from a very old wounded place in me. Right? And it has to do with my trauma, it has to do with my upbringing, has to do with beliefs that I took in as a really young kid that were like: you're not allowed, you can't do that, whatever. That's not true. It was never true, but it's certainly not my truth now.
So sometimes we do get these whispers, we do get these nudges. And often when there's a heavy bit of contraction about it, like “Oh, I can't do that,” or “no way,” or blah, blah, it's worth pausing to think about why we might be believing that because, either way, we're going to gain something. Either we're going to take an inventory and sit down, think about it, or talk it through someone else or we're gonna realize actually, that is no, you know. And then other times we're gonna think, actually, that is a yes. And then where do I go from here? Right.
So this, really, this energy and this, you know, this card, really, and our work with Three of Pentacles brings everything up related to our fear of missing out, our stuff with our “enoughness”. Are we enough? Can we do this? Do we have permission? And sometimes it can be an often painful mirror and clarity, heads up, about where we might be engaging in work or commitments or activities that actually are not in alignment for us, but we think we should be doing it, or someone else that we might admire or be looking to is doing it, so we think, “Well, I should be doing it because this person is so in their radiance with it, that surely I will be.” And other times, it's the opposite, that somebody hates something. So we think, “I should never ever, ever do that,” and we might love it (Lindsay laughs). Who knows?
The Three of Pentacles is a very interesting card, I think it is one of our greatest Anchors for divesting or kind of beginning to think about our relationship to capitalism and comparison, and moving into a space where we completely rethink the idea of work and labor and service, and where we start to understand that we are all—not to be cheesy—literally, in this together. We influence each other. We have, we cannot help that.
And this is about doing a very kind of thoughtful dance between what is the pull in me, what do I feel called to do, what is my service, and how can I give myself total permission to be in that, as best as I can, today, in whatever way I might be available to do it? And where might I be pulled externally? Where might there be expectations of me, internally or externally?
[0:26:59]
I know for myself—just speaking, like, very vulnerably right now—there's a big place in me that feels like I should be promising or giving away parts of myself, so that people are interested in what I have to offer. And I went through many years of doing offerings where I burnout, blow out (Lindsay laughs), I would say. Burnout doesn't even come close to that; it was a blowing of all of my fuses, basically, because I was overgiving, because it was what other people were doing.
Other people were hosting community groups, and I would think, “Why can’t I do that? Why doesn't that feel nourishing to me?” My students were wonderful. There was nothing wrong with what they were doing, and yet, I often felt like I was destroyed by the end of a course, and did a lot of kind of self-blaming shit for that. It was like, well, I need to work on my boundaries—which I always do—I need to do this, I need to do that. Then, finally, I was just like: I'm not available. I'm not available. It's not where my gifts and talents can be put to greatest use right now, maybe ever. And is that okay? Yeah, I have permission to do that. And other folks who really wanted a lot of time with me, and then they're not getting that might go elsewhere. They might go on a journey. There's nothing I can do to control that anyway.
So this can't not bring up stuff. If we're doing things because we feel like we should do them, we have to do them, we're expected to do them, it’s what other people do, which, by the way, none of us should feel any shame around because we all do it. This doing the work is not about getting done with certain things where we never do it again. It's about getting better at recognizing, “Oh, I just stepped back into this pool. And it's an old pool, but it kind of looked different. I'm going to walk out of the pool before I get, you know, my legs fully in, until I'm up to my neck. I'm going to step out while I have a toe in, I'm going to step out while my one leg is in this pool, rather than getting in.” That's the work, is just to get better at recognizing, right, not to be perfect, not to endlessly.
I will always, likely, because of how I was raised, because of the abuse I survived, because of the nature of my caretakers, and because of a lot of familial ancestry stuff, I will likely always need to really be with myself around what I promise, what I offer, that has to do with my time, my energy, and trusting that my work is enough, the lessons are enough, right, where… and being okay with the fact that for me, I don't find groups—well, I mean, it's tricky, right, because they're absolutely an honor and a privilege to be a part of, and there have been magnificent moments with my groups, and challenging moments, too—they're not what turn me on. And I don't really think they fill my cup. I think they empty it. And I have—it took many years for me to realize, like, there's no way. I don't think I can bypass that. Like, there's no work I could possibly do that could change that in me. Like, it is what it is.
So I share that personal anecdote to just say that it's an unlearning, and it can be that. It can be that kind of obvious, and it can take many years to figure out like, “Oh, yeah, like, I just don't. it's not my thing.” You know, it's just not my thing, and I had to do it, I think, in order to get really clear that it wasn't for me. I think Spirit can be like that sometimes where sometimes if Spirit or Inner Knowing says, “You know, maybe skip this,” we might always have questions. You know, this is about doing, not conceptualizing. Maybe we have to do something a couple times, to realize it's not for us, right?
[0:31:46]
Three of Pentacles can connect us back into something that feels like wonderful, nourishing; like, “Oh, I am in the right place, and how amazing that this person, this person, this person, they're doing community-based offerings. That is so beautiful. They must love it, it must fill them with joy. And if it doesn't, I hope they'll be in the position one day to shift it.” Right? Or the opposite: that someone might feel intimidated or nervous to do that, but it's actually what's in their heart to do, right?
So Three of Pentacles, illuminating for us what we don't want to do, we haven't wanted to do, is not really the best use of our time, is not really where we can be of highest service, building that collective pentacle for the greater evolution of humanity, and where we are called into something; that we have permission to change our minds. We have permission to shift, change, we don't require, you know, it doesn't require an explanation. We're just permissioned. We can do it, we can always change. The key is, again, to take an inventory and come back to trusting that we are enough, we're not supposed to be perfect.
[0:33:11]
How we can best work with Three of Pentacles, the Anchor Card that can help us to really click in, is Six of Cups. With Three of Pentacles' work, with work around permission, there is work around wounding. There is work, typically, around self-betrayal, around enormous rage and grief and loss around how we were limited, barred, forbidden by, again, society, our caretakers, the law, whatever it might be, that is blocking our way to being; the responsibilities that might have fallen on our shoulders when we made decisions while young, or are in a different place that now have saddled us. And it can take a very, very long time to move out of those cycles.
We have to click into what's possible with Three of Pentacles, reclaiming some of that permissioning, and creating greater ease around what we do. We have to sit with the core of the wound. Usually, we have to sit with our inner child. We have to go into the heart of the matter and be with it, get on its level, and be present with enormous tenderness about what's going on.
What does the heart ultimately want? What does our heart want? We might think “Oh, my heart wants this. My heart wants that.” My heart wants for me to not continue to inflict extreme judgement. My heart wants me to not continue the patterning and the cycle that I was raised with—that you are absolutely unable to make mistakes, that you will be belittled, ridiculed shamed. My heart doesn't want a certain amount of money. My heart doesn't want to do groups or not to groups. My heart wants to have the permission to be okay with being as it is, to not be put in situations, unnecessarily, where there's greater pressure, or I have to mask, or I have to not be as I am. That's what my heart really wants, and that is a freeing up of my inner child.
[0:35:35]
Now that I am a parent myself, it is profound, profound, how much I see. My child is about six months old. It is profound, with my fellow parents—and I'm not judging them for it, and I'm not judging myself—how easy it is to place your worries on your child, to not… and it is profound work to be like, “That has nothing to do with them. Let's put that over here,” and profound to see my fellow parents in parenting groups or forums or classes that I might be in, to see the way they have a need for their child to not be a certain way or be a certain way, or hit something really early. That feeling of not-enoughness, “I've got to hurry”, or “It's going too fast, and I have to pull it back,” that starts at birth.
And for many of us, we did not have—I mean, let me be straightforward. If we're parents, typically, we're going to have moments where those worries, those concerns, those projections might come up. It's part of our job to not project that, unconsciously, onto our child. So that takes work. It has nothing to do with them. They are what they are. They are who they are from birth, children, and it's the same thing with our inner children.
Very often, we're so unconscious to ourselves, why wouldn't we be unconscious with our children? It's probably exactly what happened to us with our parents. They had stuff, expectations, whatever, that were placed on us. And all of a sudden, here we are in our teens, twenties, thirties, forties, or older, still trying to do things to make our parents proud of us or happy; still trying to do things because it's what was expected. Still never thinking, “Where did this come from? Was it really their truth? Or had they never even believed that they had the permission to dismantle that and investigate it?”
[0:37:48]
So what does the heart want, and how can we give the heart what it desires? There have been so many times in my life, where my heart has called out for something, and I have had to say, “I hear you. I can't. I don't know how to give that to you right now, but I hear you.” And then that opens up to a larger conversation with my Guides about, “Hey, the heart is longing for this. And I'm asking for help. I'm praying for help,” whatever word works. “I'm longing for something to be like this. And I'm open. I'm willing to receive clarity or support or change.”
With new age shit, it's like instant—or the minute we find out something's not in alignment, we drop it in an instant. Like, that's not how, like, life works, at least not for me. There are plenty of things that I want and long for and desire, or that one might long for and desire that's not accessible right now. How can we not abandon our hearts, regardless? How can we hear them? How can we say, “Sweetheart, I know. I want that for you, too.” Let's continue to be open. Let's continue to ask for it.
We might think, “Oh, it's too painful to ask,” and maybe that's the truth for you right now. And if so, I get it. I do. And I wonder if there—and I don't know the answer to this—but I wonder if there's a way for us to be with those feelings of “this is too great a loss to even ask or want or hope for”, and acknowledge even that. Even that acknowledgment is cracking the door open, right? Even the acknowledgment, “I long for this but can't even bear to ask for it because I'm too worried I might be rejected,” even that is keeping the door open.
[0:39:49]
So the way we move into an openness with Three of Pentacles, to allow it to reorganize what we do and how we do it, how we utilize our time, and what longs to come through us, and how we can be of greater service to, literally, the world, by not pushing ourselves into something that we're not meant to be engaging with, or working on, or whatever it might be, the way into that clarity is through the heart. We can't do it without our inner child, which is essentially doing it with the core of us. We're really, again, as a parent, my kid is, my baby is her own complete person, quite literally, and was from the moment she was born from, like, the first day she was born. Like, this person is a whole and complete person. They're just a baby. Like, it's not—we are who we are, and we're changed by circumstances. And yet the essence of us, the soul of us, is who we are, right?
So how can we cultivate that, nourish that, water it, tend to those seeds? Are we, in some way, bypassing what the heart wants and why? Are we attempting to try to be something more palatable for the sake of love or approval or the way things should be done? That's really common. If so, we don't have to do it anymore. Are we attempting to block ourselves from something because of what? Wasting it, the worry of rejection, the fear that there might be something wrong with, you know, we're not allowed? If so, I encourage you to investigate why that might be, you know? And if it's true, if you absolutely know that that's the truth, or if there might be some fear underneath it, that might really want your attention and your care, and it's time to, really, Six of Cups can help us to acknowledge what the heart wants and what it does not, so that we can be really clear in our next steps.
[0:42:15]
Now, what do we need to release, in order to do our work with Three of Pentacles, and, by extension, Six of Cups? Two of Cups, that is our third Anchor Card for the month of September. So in working with Two of Cups in this position, we're not releasing Two of Cups. What we are releasing has to do with diving into, linking into Two of Cups, and again, letting what wants to be composted to be eliminated. In this case, collectively, for us this month, what needs to be released, in order to move into this work, is the belief that we are not enough as a whole, that we do not have what we need to do, really, what comes organically or naturally to us, or what is longing to come forward; that we are innately deficient, that we need someone else to complete us; or that there might be some part of our being that will block or prevent us from doing X, Y, Z, and we need something or someone else to enhance us or that someone else is better; we should be more like that.
If we're believing that there's something about us that is getting in the way of what we are meant to do, or what we are meant to evolve into, we have work to do. And that is the core of what we're being invited to look at. So I used myself as an example, right, that I was absolutely, like (Lindsay laughs), being self, you know, ableist toward myself. Like, I am. Part of my neurodivergence is that I have an extreme amount of anxiety around groups, and it's taken me a long time to be comfortable with even admitting that because of said-ableism, and that has been a slow waking up over time. It's just not a part of my gift, skill set. It's not something that I need to work on. It's not something I need to improve. It is. And that's okay, right?
So, again, for a long time, there was a part of me that felt like well, if I have the right supports, it'll be more comfortable. If I pull away, it'll be more comfortable. If I lean in, it'll be more comfortable. If I do more boundary work, it'll be comfortable. And I needed to reclaim the permission, the okayness to be like: this just isn't my thing. And you can fill in the blank with your thing. There was a lot of grief in that for me and a lot of feelings of failing and “ugh, I should be able to do that”. I pivoted in my classes to live calls, and that was just as stressful, to be honest. It's just not for me, right? And that's okay. It really is.
So that feeling of “I need to change, I need to get better, I need to get more X, Y, Z for me to—”, it's just not true. It's not true, and we can investigate that. Are there things to work on? Absolutely. Are there things that we can 100% lean into, process, get clear about our patterning, do all kinds of work on, that we will see some shifts and changes around? Absolutely. If we're defensive, if there is a sense of fear that we work on for a little bit, we do cultivate more anchors and more abilities to move into them. Absolutely.
And also I want to just be really clear that I'm only speaking about my own relationship to neurodivergence. It is not in any way a comment on anyone else's relationship to that word, or to various aspects of that word, or however someone might relate to even the broad sense of that. So again, just sharing from my own life. You might be different; I expect that you would be.
[0:46:47]
So, Two of Cups, in terms of releasing what might be available to bloom forward in us if we no longer lived by, made decisions from the idea that we needed to be something other than what we were to be successful, lovable, palatable, acceptable, it goes deeper than we might think. Really, it goes much, much deeper than even we might have a perception of, to be honest with you. It goes about as deep as it gets. So it's not simple work. It's not easy work.
Two of Cups is a radical invitation to embrace ourselves exactly as we are, to undo the notion that we do not need to be different, to be lovable, to be worthy, and that starts with us. Every single time I have pulled Two of Cups reversed, it catches me right in the middle, typically, of some totally unconscious story or belief that I need to do A, B, or C, to be ready to be good enough to be seen, to be whatever. And it totally cuts my mind off at the pass and reminds me oh, no, no, no. That's the story. That's the overcultural narrative. It is not the truth, and it never has been.
I am actually enough, as I am, and what I have to offer today, as I am, is enough. It doesn't mean, even at my best, my most perfect, my most cinched, whatever the story is in my mind, it still doesn't mean everybody's going to like it; it still doesn't mean that I'll be for everybody. So if that's true, that even if I had myself at the perfect place in all these areas of my life, and I still wouldn't be enough for all people, then what the fuck am I doing? Why? That's what this card invites us to look at.
And the bigger question that links us right back into the idea of permission into that theme, permission to be, that links us right back to Three of Pentacles: what would I be free to do? How would I be free to be in ways that maybe I don't even realize are in front of me without that mantle, without that? How am I, you know, actively stopping myself? How am I staying locked in these old patterns and ways that are not necessary? What am I meant to evolve into? How can I start considering that I'm enough? You know, what are the fears that get in the way, and how can I tend to them with an open heart, rather than believe them automatically? How can I just be there for them?
Permission: it's a big word. It's a big theme, and we are meant to work with it in a very sustainable, accessible way. It will be different for all of us. Every single one of us is working with the theme, the idea of permission, really differently. Some of us live with active barriers to our bodily safety. We cannot be in full permission, because it would, quite literally, put our lives at risk, or it would put our livelihood at risk. I hate that for those of you who that pertains to, and I pray and hope that that changes, again, like yesterday.
This has to do with what we can touch, what is possible to explore, what is accessible; permission around, again, the soul sense while honoring the earthly reality. We're looking at where we can reclaim, where there can be changes made, right? And looking at where it might be important, it might be time to let go of some old places where we put pressure on ourselves, where we actually do have permission, we just might not have consciously realized that it's there yet. This is just a gentle—and I mean, gentle—invitation, collectively, to explore that. And that is really what September is all about.
And again, in terms of the other aspects of September, we move from Virgo to Libra in this month. We move from the last sort of gasps of summer into autumn, here in the Northern Hemisphere. We work with the Tarot cards, Hermit to Justice. Those are pretty big deals, you know, in terms of like going from one thing to another (Lindsay laughs). Those are very, very different energies, but both of them have to do with some of the deepest internal reflections that we are privy to in our work with the Tarot. So we may as well anchor into them to really be clear about what's being asked of us, what we're being invited to do, how we're being invited to engage. How can we touch just even a teeny little bit more into radical permissioning, internally, a loosening of the heart, to be as, or at least a little closer to what we desire to be? That is what September is all about.
—
[Conclusion]
[0:53:17]
So I hope that this served you, I hope it resonated. If it didn't, I hope that you are able to take something from it that is of great use. It is, quite literally, such an honor to be here. I'm so happy to be back with this community, and I cannot wait to touch him with you next time. You have two more episodes this week to enjoy, so I hope you enjoy them. And until we meet again, please take exquisite care of yourselves.