222. Three of Swords + Intuition as a Spiral
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Happy Full Moon, loves! Our Anchor Card for the week ahead is Three of Swords, helping us to establish a deeper connection to our wise inner knowing by revealing any pockets of pain and broken trust around our intuition.
Air date:
April 6, 2023
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About the Episode
Happy Full Moon, loves! Our Anchor Card for the week ahead is Three of Swords, helping us to establish a deeper connection to our wise inner knowing by revealing any pockets of pain and broken trust around our intuition. Where might we feel unsure about or even resistant to that whisper of knowing within ourselves? We are being invited to lovingly tend to these vulnerable places, and repair some of those wounds this week.
Plus, we answer a listener's question about some common misperceptions related to intuition, and how we might go about reframing those for ourselves.
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Please Note
CW Tags: illness, capitalistic structures, trauma, spiritual bypassing, pain, grief, injury, and physical death
The content in this episode contains references to mentions of illness, capitalistic structures, trauma, spiritual bypassing, pain, grief, injury, and physical death. We have done our best to identify difficult subject matter, but the labels may not be comprehensive for your personal needs. Please honor your knowing and proceed with necessary self-awareness and care.
Transcript
[Introduction]
[0:00:00]
(Instrumental intro music)
[0:00:05]
Welcome to Tarot for the Wild Soul, a podcast that explores the Tarot through an inclusive, soul centered, trauma informed perspective for growth, healing, and evolution. I'm your host, Lindsay Mack.
Hello loves and welcome back to Tarot for the Wild Soul. It's such a joy and such a delight to be gathered here with all of you, as always. Thank you so much for your presence. Thank you so much to folks who reached out and sent me lots of well wishes because I was sick last week—I'm doing so much better now. So, thank you for that. And thank you to the incredibly enthusiastic response from folks who would be interested in booking a reading with me. I was sort of putting it out there and wanted to get a general sense of gauging interest. I don't know if I will book readings, it could also like happen tomorrow (Lindsay laughs). I'd probably start with a weightless first. But yeah, I honestly, the details don't even matter. I just wanted to say thank you, and to tell you, tell all of you, that reached out about either of those things and all the things that this lovely community reaches out about—that it's received and so appreciated.
[0:01:35]
So today, as we typically do, we're gonna dive into our Anchor Card of the week, talk a little bit about how we're being invited to work with this energy. And then I'm going to answer a listener question.
So last week's episode was our Monthly Medicine episode for the month of April. And the theme of the month ahead is wisdom. And one of the biggest, biggest, biggest pieces that I want to link this to is essentially learning the fine art of trusting in the spiralness of our intuition—which is something I'm going to be teaching about in the next couple of months, more formally. This is a very big part of wisdom. And a very, very big part of what April is about, in very quiet ways where the brain, the mind might be saying, “Oh, you should do something.” “Should” is an immediate tip-off that we're dealing with brain, and we can't necessarily always—that part of us is excellent at certain kinds of decision-making, certain kinds of choices. It is not incredibly useful—it's not even what it evolved to do—the brain, parts of the brain anyway, but those primal parts did not evolve to be the best “person behind the wheel”, for a better way of putting it, around the kind of wise discernment that we're being invited to really center and cultivate this month.
Intuition is exactly like a muscle, the more we engage with it, think about it, relate to it, lean into it, the more we have some kind of bolster and support alongside of us—as we navigate moments where we don't trust our intuition; we feel like the bottom has dropped out of our intuition, we thought we trusted and then it turned out that everything went to shit. These are really, really challenging, and very universal experiences when it comes to intuition. And I think that—and this all relates to the card of the month ahead and to or rather the card for this week, as well as the theme for the month ahead, which is why I'm linking it in and our listener question.
This is a really big kind of deepening of this again, “theme” for the month of April for our card for this week (which I'll get to in a moment), which is that I think—and I never want to sort of be shaming anyone or any… like everyone is where they're at and that's really okay. But I know for myself, that there are a lot of colleagues of mine, or a lot of folks that I'll see who are practicing intuitives and, you know, there's sort of a statement that you know, they're “leading through intuition”, but I never really see these folks… There's a really common throughline, with not all these folks, but a lot of these folks—that once they kind of linked into their intuition, everything really got smoother, easier, better. There are no wrinkles, there's no complexities or challenges in life. And because social media really encourages us to only kind of share the positive things, there's been a really warped idea, I think that the folks who are following, leading, teaching, whatever from their intuition, don't ever go through problems. And that's these folks’ business, as to whether or not they want to share that, this isn’t a call-in for anyone who teaches in that way. I understand why that happens. It's okay.
[0:05:59]
What I'm inviting all of you to remember (Lindsay laughs) is that that's not the truth. It's not the truth. It's not that these folks are lying, it's just simply that there's a certain piece of it that's not being shared. And I think that—and I'm truly not thinking of anyone in particular, I'm not—I think this is a very universal thing: that when you claim to be an intuitive, there is a public perception that you can't get it wrong, you can't make a mistake, you can't falter, that your intuition is a brilliant North Star that never fades, never gets hidden behind clouds, that you never go through a crisis of faith or conscious, you know, consciousness or trust in yourself. I could go on and on.
And I'm here to really be a very consistent voice and an example of the contrary; that you can have a very strong, very powerful connection to your intuition, and you will still get sick, you will still trip fall, God forbid, maybe get injured you—but we all will, right? At some point, before (Lindsay laughs) we have dropped these bodies, right? We will all experience what it is to transition out of these bodies, in all different ways. That is coming for all of us, right?
There are ups and downs, ebbs and flows. Intuition is a spiral. It is not a straight line; intuition behaves exactly like the consistent spiraling and cycling of the moon, exactly like the rising and the falling of the tides in the ocean every day, it is never the same. The moon is always the moon, the ocean is always the ocean. Intuition doesn't go away but there are times when it's quieter, times when it's louder, times when it's strong, times when it is very shaky. But it doesn't mean that it's gone away.
And part of cultivating—I think anyway, and I, who knows I could be really wrong about this or off base—but I really believe that part of cultivating the kind of wisdom that we're all sort of being invited to dance with, is kind of radically embracing this idea: that intuition that wisdom is very quiet and that is a little bit less linear than I think we expect it to be. That when we really are on a path of collaboration, and of co-creation with our intuition—which is to say, our wisdom, that wisdom from within—there is inevitably doubt, there are inevitably questions.
[0:09:09]
And what I want to invite all of you, if it resonates with you, is to consider that that's very much a part of the design of it. There's not like there's some grand reason, it's just life. There's a lot of unknowns in life and a lot of challenges in life. And we're all working through those challenges in whatever way we can. With intuition, we don't always know the “why” of it. We can be drawn to something, we can be drawn to work on something, we can have absolutely no evidence that it makes any sense. You know, why? But we touch on it and there is a kind of an opening that happens. It might not be immediate, it might not be exactly what we want.
Our card for the week ahead is Three of Swords and Three of Swords is showing up as a very particular kind of balm for this idea of intuition and wisdom. And you might be saying to yourself, “What the fuck did all of that have to do (Lindsay laughs), with not only the week ahead, but Three of Swords, like, what does any of this have to do with anything?” And the reason that I sort of had this preamble about, I think the reality of what it is to be an intuitive—that, again, it's way less smooth and linear than I think we are taught, and that's not anyone's fault.
There are overcultural, like, pressure-related reasons why it might not feel safe or okay for people to feel like it's alright for them to talk about the fact that they're not making as much money as it might look, or they were wrong about someone, or they got a very strong sense to go in a particular direction, and all of a sudden, poof, it changed. Those are very, very vulnerable things to share and to be witnessed in.
And so again, I don't, I don't begrudge anyone that. I bring it up because I think that, because that is very normalized in our sort of social media-led world, not to sound like a lame-o. But its true, you know—or a lot of things have to do with persona. The reason that I want everyone—myself included, I suppose—to keep that in mind is because it can trick us into believing that that's actually how intuition looks when we're doing it right. That there are no issues, there are no mistakes, everything's smooth, everything's okay. There's never a moment where we feel lost or ruffled or scared or anything. And it's not particularly sexy (Lindsay laughs) to—you know, I guess it depends on what is sexy to you—but it's not particularly sexy to be in that vulnerability of like, “I'm not sure. I thought I was right. And I don't know if I am,” you know?
[0:12:37]
All of that has to do with Three of Swords and what it's bringing up for us this week; what it's inviting us to pay attention to. This card, this week, is coming to help us clear out some pain around trusting ourselves and around comparisons that we might have unwittingly been waging against ourselves, pressure, you know? Feelings of doubt or regret or worry that we can't trust ourselves, moments where we, we might be feeling like our intuition has led us astray. And that, that never happens to other people. Like we've made such a terrible mistake or we have, we were wrong.
You know, that story or that belief, that we that plants a seed of doubt, that causes us to potentially not be able to trust ourselves enough. So that doesn't mean that this week ahead is full of pain or difficulty or challenge or activation or triggers. It's an indication, an invitation to acknowledge that the pain for many of us, in some way, shape, or form—it's already there. That's the heart of Three of Swords. The pain is already there in the heart. It's already present. It's already sitting in the heart, like a glowing stone. Right? It's there, like a density and a mass. That weight, that grief, that worry, that wonder, right?
Three of Swords is not about the pain or the pierce of the heart. It's about acknowledging our efforts, our beautiful efforts (Lindsay laughs), as human beings with these nervous systems that are just trying so goddamn hard to keep us out of discomfort and pain; working so hard to keep us safe. The function and the mechanism of Three of Swords is to say, “Thank you brain for trying to distract me away from this big, glowing stone of pain or worry or regret or wondering in my heart. And I can acknowledge those attempts, but I'm gonna go right to the heart of this pain, I'm going to place the hand on my heart and say, without needing to fix it, without needing to solve it: ‘I'm here, there's pain here. There's there is a breach of trust here.’ You know, there's a, there's a break, an erosion of trust, within my heart, around myself, around my relationship to my wisdom, around my relationship to my intuition—can I trust myself?” These are huge pieces.
So again, it's not like we're getting plunged into the middle of a cold pool, filled with regret (Lindsay laughs) and like, you know? It's that it's taking off some of the layers around what's already present, and bringing us into a little bit more intimacy, a little bit more of a witness role with these feelings that are already present and existing within all of us. We're just being invited to witness them so that we can clear it, so we can clear some of it. Three of Swords is not just here to bring up the pain; it's here to help clear and discharge some of it so there can be a healing, so there can be more of an intention of trust, so there can be absolutely more clarity here about kind of where we're at with our relationship with our wisdom.
[0:17:08]
April: the whole theme of it is wisdom. And I find it very moving and very powerful that our first Anchor Card that is showing up to help us to engage and root more deeply into our wisdom has to do with pulling up the weeds, pulling up the threads of pain, or of a feeling of self-betrayal, perhaps, or a feeling of lack of trust—like the story that we may carry about, like, “I trusted my intuition, and it led me to a really bad situation.” Or, you know, “I thought that this was the right thing. And now I'm not so sure.” These are huge themes that I think like, I'll raise my hand right here and now—I'm always very vulnerable and transparent with this, with anyone that I'm talking to—but I will raise my hand up here, right now that I have had so many of those moments. And not just in the last year, especially around all kinds of different things—but my whole life, my whole career.
Anytime you've ever seen me and thought, if you've thought this like “Wow, Lindsay!” Whatever, please know (Lindsay laughs) that even in some of the height of the most excited moments that people have had with me, I've had tremendous doubts about myself and whether or not I was doing the right thing, or if I should have done this or should have done that. It still happens. And I say that to normalize this because the truth is that I trust that my intuition is that moon, even if there's no light being reflected off of it, even if it's hidden behind the clouds, I still know it's there.
The more we hang out with our wisdom, trusting our wisdom, listening to our wisdom, giving it audience, letting the stories around why we can't trust our intuition bubble up so they can be acknowledged and cleared: that is all a part of what it is to be in a co collaboration with intuition. It is that spiral journey, where we go all the way around the curves and come back to a new center. It's how we engage with rupture and repair around this part of ourselves. And so Three of Swords is here as a helper. Again, it's helping us to clear up pain, helping us to let go of heartbreak around these themes, helping us to let go of beliefs about ourselves, about intuition, about our own wisdom, that are not true for us anymore. They might feel true but that's kind of a part of the engagement, the questioning, the examination, we're going to be called to move into this week.
It was very important for me to share that the feelings that might come up this week, don't indicate that we're going backward or that we're regressing at all. They don't have to do with us. If we're feeling like, “Oof, this is a big wound around trusting in my own wisdom,” or just because those wounds arise, doesn't mean that we can't trust or that if we've worked hard to get out of that place, that we're moving back into it—it's really just a very big echo, that's arising. That in one way or another, whether it be incredibly subtle, a very quick moment, or kind of a big experience, a longer experience; very, very important to work with this week.
[0:21:15]
Part of our job is to unconditionally honor those feelings, to make space for those feelings, to witness them again, to honor what it is that we're moving through. We’re healing and repairing some of the fissures and brakes and fractures in that intuitive trust, that I think comes in whole and clean when we're born, but slowly, can erode over time—depending on what we grew up in, or our particular, you know, range of life experiences.
Three of Swords is transformative. It is a very, very powerful card. It is transformative because if we are brave enough to move into that incredibly hot center, again, in whatever way does not overwhelm our capacity to cope—but if we're willing to really lean into the very uncomfortable edges of those feelings, like, “Oof, this feels like a really huge failing on my part, this was a moment when I thought I could trust and I was so wrong,” or “I thought I was wrong, I still maybe believe I'm wrong.” We're not fixing anything, we're not solving anything we're just being with. And we might need to be with, with a therapist or with a trusted advisor. But, again, we're not, we're not throwing the lid off of a whole can of worms of pain and suffering (Lindsay laughs) this week.
Literally, all that this card is calling us to pay attention to is that we may be invited into some old stories; we may notice that we're distracting ourselves from something deeper. And one of the things that is coming up for, again, our attention has to do with that breach of trust, that I think all of us carry around our intuition in one area or another.
Three of Swords reminds us that the more that we're willing to be with what's in the heart—rather than to try to move ourselves away from something or off into something else—the more by being with it, an alchemical, really transformative process can occur. It can completely change the way we perceive ourselves, the way that we work through certain things. And that alchemy happens through really deep feeling.
[0:24:11]
So it might show up differently for everybody. You know, this week—I'm sure it likely will. Really important to just have a lot of support around you. And whatever way works for you and feel supportive, to know that you don't have to fix it or heal it and that the feelings, while absolutely valid, are not necessarily true. So in other words, we may really feel like “Well, this was wrong. I shouldn't have done this.” And that's not—and I don't want to invite anyone to not trust their knowing—but we can have a lot of really huge feelings and a lot of beliefs about what was not the right thing to do and there are times when it's not about being right or wrong. There are times when we just took a particular path and learned a particular thing. There are times when we make a huge leap and once we're in what we're in, we're just like, “Holy shit, what the fuck did I sign up for? Why did I let go of this or why,” you know, whatever.
If we're in a relationship that we absolutely know, in no uncertain terms, has reached its end; we might feel overjoyed to be on our own. We might feel like we made the biggest mistake of our lives. And both things are valid. And it doesn't necessarily mean that we made a big mistake. It just might be that we're totally appropriately responding to the bigness of change, which can be really scary.
So embracing Three of Swords as a beautiful Anchor for this kind of transformative self-embracing is really what this week is all about. And I hope that it is so, so gentle with you. And I hope that whatever wants your attention, whatever messages that are “coming from inside the house”, so to speak, from your own heart—I hope that you're able to be with that as as safely and as warmly and as beautifully as you deserve, you know?
Of course, this is my birthday week, and why wouldn't (Lindsay laughs) it just feels… I love all cards and I know that this is the whole crux of the work: is that all cards bring medicine, but it's just like, you know? The very, my birthdays are, even though I tried to have a really nice time, they typically bring up a lot of stuff. So not a surprise that this card, in particular, is showing up on the week of my birthday. But again, that's totally personal to me. Just making me chuckle.
[0:27:23]
Okay, so we're gonna move into our listener question, and then I'm going to get out of your hair for the day. This question is from Asher. And they ask:
Hi, Lindsay,
I want to just first say thank you for all you give. Your pod has completely changed the way I practice Tarot, for the better.
Thank you, Asher, that really means the world.
I have a friend who is also a reader and intuitive, that I very much trust. She brought up a point that once that “following your intuition” might not always be a good thing. How sometimes you might feel like something is right, only for it to turn sour. I have always thought that even if it doesn't end up perfect, we might have needed to take that specific route to get to where we’re meant to be. Or maybe what we think is intuition is actually something else. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Also, I just listened to Episode 219 and would love to book reading with you more than anything. Thank you for your time.
Thank you Asher, that’s very sweet. Okay, so what a beautiful question. And I really am honored to feel my way into it. And just want to first acknowledge, perhaps annoyingly, that I do not hold the monopoly on what constitutes an intuitive. Meaning that there might be some folks for whom might disagree with what I'm saying. And I think that's okay.
So I just want to start with saying that I think that your friend isn't wrong. Right? Like We're all entitled to have our own experience and I think that's really okay. And I'm, I'm not hearing you make them wrong, which I also want to acknowledge. But I'm really hearing and feeling you make sense of it for yourself. And because you're asking me, I will answer to my own experience, and just name that I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment. Not just because I think it makes sense but also because it absolutely fits inside of my own. It aligns with my personal experiences and what I've seen with other folks. And I think it might actually be a perspective thing. So there might be people for whom this is absolutely not how they feel. And that's okay. And the thing that I agree with you around, is that sometimes you might feel like something is right. If—and it might not end up perfect, but we might have needed to take that specific route to get where we're meant to be.
Intuition is not meant to keep us from pain, from lessons, from hard falls. It's not, it just isn't. Period. If I am, I'm literally pulling this out of my butt. But if, if I am working in a way that is utterly and completely out of alignment with my ethics, my integrity and there's a little voice in me, that keeps saying, “This isn't right, make it right.” And I ignore it, and I ignore it, and I ignore it, and eventually give in to that voice, and maybe disband what I'm doing, maybe make certain things right, make repair—if I haven't been like paying people, like starting to pay people. In the short term, that shit is as painful as it gets. And by the way, I'm not, I'm not at all glorifying anybody who does not pay people or does not behave or work ethically, I'm trying to make an example that and you can sub out this example for whatever might suit because it likely might not be a particularly graceful or generous one.
[0:32:00]
There are times when we ignore that voice, we ignore it, it's there, we know it, we acknowledge it. And when we start to acknowledge and honor our intuition, we kind of have a situation where a big wave comes and we collide with it, where we realize the full extent of the cost of us not following our intuition. And perhaps let's take my previous example and shift it, let's say we're working in a way that we know is absolutely it's taking us away from our time with family and it's not feeling okay, it's totally burning us out. And maybe we have options to do things differently. But we don't feel like we can take them whatever and then we completely flame out, we flame out. And then we start honoring our intuition a little bit more. And that requires a healing and a repair of trust with the self that is a totally different rhythm of living, and of healing and repair. And in the moment, long story short, it feels like we did the wrong thing. There's usually more pain, more confusion, more regret, because of how intense it is to like—really, there's a lot of Tower in intuitive work. Because you're constantly razing any structure that's built on anything that is not structurally sound.
So the more you get into your intuition, the more, for the most part, those structures can't get super, super tall. But occasionally one gets very, very established, like a belief or a story or a behavior and we don't see it. And then we have to clear it and it's really intense. And again, can feel like we made a giant mistake, you know?
So there are times when the feelings that we have are so strong and we don't necessarily realize or we don't consider that we have to check in on those feelings even when they're strong. We can say, “Whoa, have a really strong feeling about this. Is it true? Is it true? Is it in alignment for me not to do this? Is it in alignment for me to do this?”
We always want to check in, it's not to negate the feelings. It’s just to say that is very easy to conflate a very big feeling—born of a belief that's not necessarily true—with an intuitive hit. Right? There's a lot that can—I cannot tell you, this is, I don't say this, because I mean, listen, my entire life is honoring, naming, validating feelings in my own life, in my relationship with my, my, my child, in my partnership with my clients, with across the board, it's the backbone for how I live. So I don't in any way want to say that feelings are not a profound North Star, because they are. And when we're talking about intuition, sometimes feelings are not always fact. They're just not. And that's true outside of intuition too: feelings are valid, they deserve to be honored and paid attention to, they're not always facts. They're just they're not, that doesn't mean that there's a problem with them.
But if we are not in the custom, of really getting into the sort of humble, checking check-ins that are necessary with intuition, we can make a lot of decisions from the mind, from ego, I've done them all. So I get it. And I, I’m not, again, like I'm talking about myself (Lindsay laughs), you know, like, inside of talking about these things, like, it's very easy to just be like, “Well, I want this, so…” There have been times where I'm like, “I'm fucking doing this, and I'm not even going to check in because I want to hear the ‘no’,” (Lindsay laughs) you know? And I'm positive, I'm not alone in that.
[0:37:07]
So all this to say, Asher, that following your intuition—if you believe that intuition is supposed to be a golden ticket out of any discomfort, challenge, difficulty, pain, regret,—if you're believing that following your intuition will help you to avoid those things, then it does make sense that somebody would say that's not always valuable to follow it. And that something can be right, only for it to turn sour—that is not a problem in the eyes of Spirit, right? If I really, really want to work with someone and collaborate with someone, and the opportunity arises for me to do so, it might be that the collaboration is wonderful. And it might be that it just does not click, and it has nothing to do with me, with the other person, it's not personal. They're great, I'm great. It could be that, uh, you know, we've always wanted to, I don't even know, whatever, be get into a particular profession, or study something and we take a one-on-one class and think, “Oh, my God, this is horrible. Like, I do not want to do this at all.” We have to follow those pings in order to know if something is in alignment.
Intuition is not supposed to help us to avoid that stuff. It will always be that way (Lindsay laughs). That I just think intuition helps us to figure it out a little faster sometimes, you know? Like I often find with my Guides and with myself—and hopefully, all this is useful—that sometimes it's like, I'll want to do something or I'll get an idea of something that I'd like to pursue and it happens very, very quickly for me, and very quickly clarifies for me, like, “I'm actually good. Like I did this, I don't need to do it again,” or, you know?
Like, you know, it's that, we're not supposed to avoid that. Like intuition actually helps to clarify, that's the whole point, that's why we're co-collaborating. You know? There have been in times where I've gotten from Spirit like, “Yes, take this call with this person. Yes, have this meeting.” And it's horrible. And it's, I've always thought it's their way of just saying, “Now you know,” and it's not them trying to fuck me. It's just saying like, “Now you know.” But in the moment of sitting with like, “Is it a yes, for me to engage with this person, talk to this person?” If I get a big blooming beautiful, yes, it's really easy to be like, “Oh, that means it's gonna work out!” When it's just them saying, “Absolutely, take the meeting and see what happens. And then you'll know, if it's a no or a yes.”
[0:40:42]
We have to be in this whole life, we have to be experiencing. Intuition can help us to stay connected to that North Star, no matter what is going on; it's a compass. We're still in the woods, it's just a compass that can help us to continue to move north, or whatever direction we might be called to move in right? That's it. It's not here to help us to avoid anything, it's here to help us clarify through experience. And that's, I don't want to say like, “That's it,” (Lindsay laughs) it's a lot of stuff.
But I think that's a nice reframe, and a nice way to rewild that sense of like—kind of undo a little bit and rewild part of our relationship, you know, within tuition, and the idea that… Because I think that this friend that you're talking about, they're not the first person that I have heard who's said that. And I think that, while absolutely valid, and perfectly okay, for them to think and say that, like, it's totally fine. I would just counter with like, I don't know that we should necessarily be avoiding things not going our way. Because sometimes they're not really supposed to go (Lindsay laughs) the way we want them to. And kind of think God (Lindsay laughs), like I would have, like, ruined my life. If I had, like, you know, if everything that I had, like wanted, honestly had happened, because I’ve wanted things that have not been particularly good for me.
So yeah, I agree with you. I think that we take the paths we take and who knows why we do, it's—intuition is a spiral. It helps to keep us honest, and in a space of trust with ourselves, rather than trying to do what looks right. Because what looks right is not always the right thing.
Yeah, I hope that helps. Thanks for trusting me with this question. And I'm always excited and honored to talk about intuition. Because I think that we're all born intuitive. I think we are all intuitives. And we all have our own special gifts with that wisdom, and it does not always look like a spiritual path. And it is not supposed to necessarily lead us away from the inevitability of disappointment, and sometimes challenges. But it is certainly not here to help us avoid, again, the human complexities and complications of this life. It can, though, keep us a little bit more tethered to that deep well of truth in us, you know, as we navigate those complications.
—
[Conclusion]
[0:44:06]
So thank you all for being here. I love all of you. I'm so grateful for this community and this space. Yeah. And until we connect again next week. Please take beautiful care of yourselves.