187. Between Two Realms with Three of Wands + Goodbye for Now
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Three of Wands is our card for the month of April, inviting us into some powerful and beautiful work around honoring ourselves in the midst of a “bridge” season of our lives, or moments when we find ourselves between two worlds. This card can be uncomfortable at times, but what it invites us into is rich and extraordinary: to hold ourselves in the present moment, knowing we are on the verge of some great and wonderful change.
Air date:
March 25, 2022
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About the Episode
In today’s episode, we dive into the heart of Three of Wands, chat a little about Aries season, The Emperor, and the Spring Equinox and I answer a listener's question about how to get more comfortable in Tower seasons.
Note: I am saying a sweet and grateful goodbye for now to the podcast, as I transition into my maternity leave, and into some new projects (along with parenthood) that have been calling out to me for a little while. I'm not sure when I will be back with more episodes, but I love you all and thank you for being here!
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Land Acknowledgement
Honoring and acknowledging that this podcast episode was recorded on the unceded land of The Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde, currently called Portland, OR, with the deepest respect to the Kalapuya Tribe, Cowlitz Tribe, and Atfalati Tribe.
Please Note
CW Tags: pregnancy, loss of life, grief, capitalistic structures, and systemic inequities
The content in this episode contains references to pregnancy, loss of life, grief, capitalistic structures, systemic inequities. We have done our best to identify difficult subject matter, but the labels may not be comprehensive for your personal needs. Please honor your knowing and proceed with necessary self-awareness and care.
Transcript
[Introduction]
[0:00:00]
(Instrumental intro music)
[0:00:05]
Welcome to Tarot for the Wild Soul, a bi-monthly podcast that explores the Tarot through an inclusive, soul-centered, trauma-informed perspective for growth, healing, and evolution. I'm your host, Lindsay Mack.
___
Hello, Wild Souls, and welcome to a new episode of the podcast and new Anchor Card for the upcoming month of April. Welcome to a new season, a new upcoming month, a new cycle on our zodiac wheel. Yeah, there's just so, so much to celebrate, so much richness and beauty and delight and excitement. And I'm absolutely hoping that it's meeting and greeting all of you in the most supportive way possible.
We have so much to get to on this episode. We're going to talk about our Anchor Card for the month of April. We'll talk about the theme for the upcoming month ahead. We will talk a little bit about the Equinox, about Aries season, about, yeah (Lindsay laughs), all the things. I'll answer a listener question. But before I get to that, I just wanted to name that today marks the last episode of the podcast before I go on maternity leave. I don't know how long this pause is going to be, which is why I said: “goodbye for now.”
I have, truthfully, been really feeling in my work, in my creation, like there is not just space that wants to be made for my child and this completely new being that's entering into my life, and this new rhythm and so many new completely unknown things. It's been a big Moon journey, that's for sure (Lindsay laughs), to be pregnant, and to welcome this life into our family. But also, creatively, there's some there's a both/and thing happening here. And so I just am not sure when exactly I'll be back to this space.
You all know me by now. Sometimes I like to say, and I never want to disappoint—so I don't want to say, “Oh, I'll be back in X amount of time,” and then disappoint anyone. It might be a really short amount of time, it might be a really long amount of time. It might be that I don't, you know, come back in quite the same way. Who knows? It'll be a nice adventure (Lindsay laughs) to figure it out together. But I do feel that along with welcoming my child, there are just things that want to come through that haven't really had the room to do so.
And so, I have felt the massive change in my course structure for 2022 and beyond that has changed so much. Probably not too many of you experiencing it, as students or as prospective students, but for me, as the facilitator, there has been a pretty big shift in the last year of just realizing I don't… I really think that I feel very complete with hosting students and moving through course cycles with students. It feels much more aligned for a million reasons to have all of my work be self-paced at this point because there are other things I really want to make and do. So we'll see.
I'm kind of excited, you know? I feel like the podcast has been such an offering of love for so long. And if it comes back in three months, that's great (Lindsay laughs). If it doesn't, that's great. I'm just grateful to have been on the ride with all of you and to be on the ride. Yeah, just thank you for being here, whether you just got here or whether you have been here from the very beginning. Yeah, so I just wanted to let everyone know right up at the top.
[0:04:32]
In this episode, you know, we are going to be talking about our Anchor Card, of course, but really, these episodes are not relegated just to the time we're talking about them in, right?
So we're talking about Three of Wands in this episode, which is our Anchor Card for the month of April. But because April, in and of itself it’s—the theme of this month is “building” is “structure,” right? Like, the connecting to this idea of structure, and because the lens in which we're looking at Three of Wands in, is “between two realms,” that is something that's an evergreen thing, right? Like, we know what it is like to be between two realms, to be within between two times in our lives, where we're not quite finished with one thing, we're not quite ready to move into the other. And when we really can drop into that space, which is such a strong bridge-like energy. Wow, can it open us up to so much.
So, even if you're catching this episode, like way past April, I hope that if you find yourself drawn to it, that you'll really sink into it and really open to the wisdom that guided you to it because there likely is something in there for you.
So, yeah, so we're gonna start with that. We'll start with our cards, sometimes we start with the astrological piece, but I think it makes sense to begin with our card for the month for this episode.
[0:06:22]
So as I mentioned, Three of Wands is the card that volunteered that came forward as the Anchor, as the root, as the guide for our experience in the month of April. And the title of this episode, again, is “Between Two Realms,” and that is very much, very, sort of on the nose, of really what we do, the work we do with Three of Wands, anyway. But this is really how I think April is also going to feel. The theme for April is “Building,” and we can connect that also to “structure”—that was sort of a secondary word that came up when I was tuning in with the theme. So we're gonna begin there.
When we think about this idea of building, right—we're building to something, we’re structuring something, we're visioning something, we have been, so far, in 2022 really doing kind of a lot of visioning. There's been a lot of inner work around like not being afraid to get our hopes up and, you know, kind of dreaming in this new vision for what we'd like our life to be, for what we'd like this life to be like for all humanity, right? And it's been taking us all in these really, really powerful places within ourselves.
And because we're in a Lovers year in 2022, what that's really done is provided the foundational space to invite us to do the inner work that is necessary for some kind of external shift, some kind of energetic shift, that allows some things, maybe blocks, to fall away and some clarity to come forward. And that is very much like life, right? Like, sometimes we do work from the outside, and that's beautiful. Other times, most of the time (Lindsay laughs), we’re working from the inside out, and I would say, even in clear cut cases where it's like, “Oh, I made this external shift. My life changed,” well—what got you there, right?
So when we think about the idea of building, that's an action, right? We're bringing some kind of empowered action to the forefront of our lives. And in many ways, we're kind of weaving together this internal vision, this vision that we have, this vision that we're cultivating, that we've been nurturing, with the actuality, with the empowered steps around, “Well, what exactly does it take to do this? What exactly does it take to bring this into the world?” That is really, really important, as it pertains to this month, as it pertains to what it's bringing.
When we build something, we want to think about our energy. We want to think about rest, we want to think about—and I hesitate to say “balance” because, I mean, I don't even know that balance is really something that we need to be going for. I feel like there's kind of a capitalist construct behind it, to be honest. I am still sitting with my feelings about balance as someone who experiences imbalance in many ways. So I'm still sort of feeling into how I feel about that word, but a little bit more of a shared kind of weight in the areas of doing and rest and going and stopping.
And, you know, when we build something, it can be so exhausting. Especially if it's a labor of love, something that we're treasuring and are longing for, the hours can be long, the visioning can be really difficult. There can be delays that invite us into all kinds of doubt, like, “What the fuck am I doing?” There can be expenses, financial and otherwise, that we just think like, “Holy shit, in this big vision of building, I did absolutely not anticipate this,” you know (Lindsay laughs).
[0:10:53]
And so, that secondary word for this month, “structure”—we want to have a structure in place, some kind of structure that helps, that supports. And we can think about this very holographically, very holistically, meaning not just in the area that we're working on right now.
Whether we are healing, bringing a new family member into our lives, writing a book—which so many people that I admire and love the work that they do, are shifting into book writing, and I don't think, especially this year, I don't think that's a coincidence. I think that there is a shift occurring in many people, and I imagine there's just as many folks who are pivoting from books to something else, or you know, from one medium to another. So, whatever we're sort of building toward, or building to, in the midst of the building time, we do want to make space for that, for that gentle check-in:
How is the heart doing in the midst of this? Do we have enough support? How's the body? Are we exhausted? Can we rest just even ten percent more? Do we need a little bit more hydration, a little bit more playtime, a little bit less frenzied working hours (Lindsay laughs)? You know, only we will really know what we need. And if we get stuck, we can always bring it to a trusted processor or a friend and get their take on it, right?
So that is really what this month is going to be rooted in. It's an invitation to really sink into this idea of building. We're building into something, and, you know, really checking in with kind of what we need to sustain that build is very important.
[0:12:52]
The second piece that is also very important about the theme of this month, about building, about kind of how it weaves into Three of Wands, is that when we are in the midst of building something, it can feel like, “This is never going to end,” or we can attempt to really want to rush it to the finish line—completely understandable, as human as it gets.
But the journey of the build is really very, very important. That's really the place where we learn, that's the place where it's the grounds for the opportunity, for such clarity about ourselves, for there to really be an opening, a questioning: like, can this be, again, even ten percent more easeful? Can I draw in more support here? Can I really be with the build itself, instead of wanting to rush to the building?
And if there's some part of me that thinks, “Fuck, I wish I could just, like, throw all this material, in like my garage and forget I ever attempted to build anything,” can we honor that part, too, but not necessarily let that drive the car. And that is really what brings us to the heart of Three of Wands, in general, but especially as an Anchor for this month.
[0:14:27]
Three of Wands is one of those cards that can be a little tricky, and that folks can have a hard time locking into the energy of it—Two of Wands, as well. In fact, I did an episode, I think earlier this year or last year, where I spoke about the differences between these two because people really have a challenging time making, sort of, sense of the differences, and they both seem very vague. So, kind of, “What are we doing here?” Again, completely understandable.
Three of Wands represents a very, very potent time: energetically, in terms of a promise, an invitation. It represents a time where we are building something. And we can think of ourselves—the analogy I often use is that we can think of two landmasses and sort of a bridge in between them. And in this sort of imaginal world, we are building the bridge as we are moving across it.
So the bridge isn't finished. It's not quite done yet, and yet, this half-finished bridge (Lindsay laughs) is managing to hold us up quite perfectly and safely as we traverse across. So, because we're on the bridge between where we've been and where we're going, we're not quite in one world or in the other: we are between two worlds. We are between two realms.
We're not 100% finished with where we've been, which is totally fine. We're still building, we're still clearing, we're processing. We're considering, gestating, incubating—like all the things that are so important when it comes to cutting cords, when it comes to clearing something, really leaving something behind.
[0:16:33]
There have absolutely been times in my life where my endings with a relationship or a friendship or some aspect of my life, come very quickly. And sometimes that processing has to come later, right? Like we think back, and we think about the passing of someone that we absolutely cherish, and then, all of a sudden, they were gone. And we didn't have the time to really wrap our minds around it until maybe we got a little older, and that grief started really showing up in other areas. That absolutely happens with Three of Wands experiences.
Typically, if we think about the leaving behind of something, we do so in spirals and layers. We leave behind, maybe we come back. We leave behind, we come back. We process a little bit, we make our announcement. Maybe we go through all the feelings, maybe we give our notice, or we give notice to someone else, and then we have, like, we might have no process time, we might have all the process time, or processing may come later.
It never is going to move the same way twice, but building the bridge is not just the building toward where we're going, it's also the gentle, thoughtful, respectful, building away from where we've been. And honoring that nothing ever truly dies, nothing's ever truly done. You know, there's always a form that something takes, whether more positive, more challenging, whatever it may be. But when we find ourselves connecting with that idea, it can draw us back into the journey of the build, rather than just sort of wanting to get to the other side—which again, is so valid. Like, I'm that way constantly (Lindsay laughs). Like, I'm a human, we're all human, we want to get out of what we're in, if it's uncomfortable or whatever it is. Totally understandable.
But when we can come back to, “I'm on the bridge between two realms right now, building toward and building away from,” it can root us into that in-between space. And that is where we're going to find and access a lot of fucking magic. A lot of magic. A lot of stuff about ourselves that maybe we didn't realize. That is maybe where we will get to allow and make space for things to come forward, that we didn't even know, couldn't even imagine would ever even be connected to what it is that we're building toward or away from.
[0:19:26]
It allows us the grace of grieving, the grace of process, the grace of ritual, of letting go. Like these are huge themes that we just totally miss out on. And because most of us are just really consumed with like, “Well, what's next, what's next, what's next?” I don't want to romanticize it, because again, we don't all get this. But when we're in a Three of Wands season, it's one of those rare, precious times when we may actually be able to bring about some consideration, some process, some processing, to what we're saying goodbye to, not just what we're saying hello to.
We also get to work through our stuff about what it is that we're going toward. If there's a lot of fear of the unknown—as most of us carry, you know (Lindsay laughs)—the thinking mind tends to make what's unknown into a problem, maybe into a scary thing. So Three of Wands also offers us the opportunity to say, “Well, hey, like, here's my belief about this, here's the story about this. Okay, you know, how can I nurture that? How can I tend to that or caretake that?” If at all, right?
There's so much here that's so precious, and let’s draw this, let's sort of cast this thread around the Wands themselves.
[0:21:01]
So, in Soul Tarot, Wands are, they're powerful medicine. I mean, all aspects of the Tarot are. I believe, what makes sense to me in my teaching, is that the Wands have to do with the way that we use our energetic capacity in the world.
So I think of them as kind of the root, the seed, the starting place, in many ways, which tracks with kind of the Wheel of the Year: if we start with Aries, and we move to Cups and, you know, in Water, and that's really the way that the Zodiac flows, and I think it also makes sense in a suit order. But this idea, of kind of, really honoring the journey of the build and the flow of that, it's very connected to the Wands, in general.
With almost every single one of the Wands cards, there's an advocacy happening with all of these cards, that are basically saying, “Please take your time. Please work with the amount of fire/fuel that you have in your tank today. No more, no less. Please, if you're using up more fuel than you have, is there a way, without putting undue pressure, more fuckin shit on our plate, is there a way to be really gentle, to maybe fill that tank up in another way?”
Is there a way to take more off your plate, to add more play, to be with the in-between, without needing to go backward or forward super quickly? Can we just be here, right? It's not easy. It doesn't mean that we won't have feelings battered or that we won't find ourselves stretching back or forward.
But Three of Wands, like all Tarot cards, can be an Anchor. It can be an Anchor to help remind us: I am in a building time. I am in a structure. I'm at a time of structuring, visioning, of actually building the bridge that I'm going to walk upon, move upon, that will take me from where I've been to where I'm going because it's time. Right? It's time.
So how can we be with that? You know, we honor the feelings that come up and recognize that they're not something, anything to be avoided. But in fact, something to be cherished, something to actually guide us into the next moment. We're doing Tarot for What Is, right (Lindsay laughs)? Like, we don't have to leapfrog past anything. We can just be with what's coming up for us.
So we are in a building month, we're in a building time. We are, absolutely—whether it's something really super solidly external and clear, or it's something that will stretch across the fabric of our lives for a year or two longer, we're in a time of slowly, deliberately leaving something, saying goodbye to something, transitioning from some way that we've been living, utilizing our energy, expressing our creativity, working toward something different. Everyone: this is what this year is about.
[0:24:38]
The Lovers is very change-oriented, but it can only really happen when we really start to honor what's going on inside and only then can be translated into, just organically, a different way of moving in the world. Right? There's an organic shift that occurs there. So I like to remind myself that there are many cards in the Tarot about leaving something behind; not all of them honor both where we're going and what we've been through.
The other piece about Three of Wands that I think is really important to name, in a much more broad sense, it's not so much about the leaving. It's more about a transition. It's about maturity. It's about growing up. It's about recognizing that maybe we've been exploring, studying a certain way of living, a certain style, a certain way of “fill-in-the-blank”, right? And that old way may be done, it's possible it may be expiring. It could also be that we just want something in addition to it. We want to continue with what we're doing, but like, way more on the back burner, right? We want to make room for something else to come through.
So April isn't necessarily a month where like all this stuff is going to change. This is the beginning. And just because we leave the energy of a month doesn't mean that the intention, that the invitation of the month is gone. In fact, I think this is really crucial, because of the fact that Aries season marks the beginning of a new zodiac cycle.
[0:26:38]
Aries is the first sign in the zodiac. It's connected to the Emperor, this is what we're in now. So the energy and the invitation that we're in now, in many ways, can be carried through the rest of not just 2022, but all the way into Pisces season of 2023. It's a time of building. Like, whatever Aries brings is very often—you know, the other signs build upon it, of course—but it's very often like kind of what we're working with.
And if this, you know, Three of Wands essence is sort of the piece that's holding the lantern, that's carrying us through, there's something really powerful about that. That whether or not I even, you know, let's say I don't come back to this podcast until well after, you know, March of 2023. There's something inside of the invitation of this episode that can carry you through and be a balm and be like a little light in your lantern, or a little compass for you, until Aries season of next year (Lindsay laughs)—or not, you know, which is great. If you're going through a building season of your life, and this is just resonating with you and it has absolutely nothing to do with April or 2022—wherever it's finding you is really perfect, you know? I believe, anyway. So yeah, really, really strong medicine.
When we work with Three of Wands as an Anchor, it's an opportunity for us to honor where we've been, and acknowledge that we are beings who are constantly evolving. We are always growing, we are really not meant to do the same thing forever. Even if we're doing the same thing forever, we're going to want to do it in different ways, and honoring the fact that we're moving towards something different, that we might not have a full understanding of what it is right now.
So how do we hold ourselves in that, call upon resourcing and support that feels accessible and actually nourishing to us, as we build? What does it take for us to build and to create more structure, right? That is really the question and the seed that we are planting in April for the rest of our cycle in this particular Zodiac wheel. So, yeah, that's the way, that's some of the ways that we can, you know, lock into some supportive relationship work with Three of Wands.
[0:29:35]
And as I mentioned, we're now in Aries season. The Spring Equinox, for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, happened a couple of days ago. And I really believe that we're still kind of in the flow of that. Such a powerful time: first day of spring. The Equinoxes, I think are really extraordinary—really, we could say the same of the Solstices—because they click us into a new energy. But the cross-quarters: Imbolc, Beltane, Samhain, Lughnasadh, are really when we experienced the full breadth, the full expansion of the season, right?
So when we move through Beltane in the Northern Hemisphere on May 1, we're going to be really feeling and seeing spring in many ways—most of us, right? Now, you know, it doesn't feel like how we might imagine spring to be. It depends on where we live. But we're not, you know, we're not seeing the flowers right now, we're not seeing those, that like, very, very first harvest, we're not seeing the green on the trees. We're still probably experiencing a lot of mud, a lot of (Lindsay laughs) you know, really messy weather, a lot of kind of, maybe still a lot of snow, a lot of rain. And yet, that is a part of the medicine of spring; this, too right?
Aries is the infant of the zodiac. And, you know, The Emperor, which is ruled by Aries, is the invitation to take up, aligned, appropriate space—the way that a tree does, the way that tree roots do, the way that the wingspan of a bird does, the way that the night sky does not apologize for the spaciousness that it occupies. Now we, as human beings, especially if we are afforded systemic privileges—privileges based on our skin color, privileges based on our finances and ability—we have to be more conscious and more mindful of the space we're taking up when we enter a room, right? Ideally, we're moving through the world with that questioning.
And the Emperor can really help us to do this. The Emperor can say, “Yes, absolutely. You came to bring something very, very strong and powerful. You, and you, and you.” And we can do so in a way that doesn't crowd anybody out; that doesn't spill over into anyone else's root system. So that is such a strong way to connect with both this card, this time on the Wheel of the Year.
[0:32:41]
With regard to the Equinox and this sort of beginning part of Aries season, there's a lot of medicine in putting ourselves down—kind of laying our own life experience down, on this time, on the Wheel of the Year. Like, the fact that spring is occurring, all of this growth is happening outside of what we can see right now. Right now, it's invisible. Right now, there's nothing that is popping up. There's no bloom, there's no beautiful scent, there are no warm days. It's still kind of cold in, you know, early spring, you know—like, again, depending on where we are.
So how do we make space for that? How do we reconcile that? Well, we all know that when we are right on the verge of something new, something that's newborn, newfound, if we're building something and starting to click over from rest and clearing, to generating and growing, the process happens under the earth for a long time. It's invisible.
And it's the same idea: if we're building that bridge, if we're building something, a lot of people are just gonna look right past. They don't see the finished thing like we do, you know? There's not an awareness like, “Oh, there's this incredible build going on.” And sometimes we don't even respect that about ourselves. We think like, “Well, there's no finished building here. So nothing's going on. I don't have the finished product; I don’t have the book. I don't have the course, I don't have the degree, I don't have the whatever-it-might-be that we're longing for and building toward. I don't have it yet. So it's not valid.” In many ways, we can actually believe that.
And I invite you, whenever you get caught in that story—which can be very painful—to come back to nature and to remember that early spring tells you that's not true. Just because there isn't anything blooming doesn't mean there isn't an active process of preparation to do so. We can say that this is true every season, right?
Aries is the, again, we're the infant of the zodiac. It's the shout of the newborn. It's the scream (Lindsay laughs), the joyful, full-hearted scream of new life. Like, “I'm here, I'm here. I am in this body, I'm in this process.” This is the start. It's not always the most obvious start, because life is not linear. And it's not always obvious, right? There's a lot of work underneath the earth, in the soil, in the roots before there is stretching out, before there is a reaching for the sun, before there is external. That's why internal always comes before external.
So there's nothing we really have to do with this Aries season. But it is a very powerful thing to click into and to sense into: how we are being invited to connect with this sign, this time on the Wheel of the Year, this new year, with the Emperor, themselves, right? So there's so much medicine here that can really help to fortify our work with Three of Wands in an ongoing way. So that's what I have to say about this month and the Anchor Card.
[0:36:26]
And now we're going to pivot into our listener question. So this is from Joss, and Joss asks:
Hi Lindsay,
I'm struggling with the end of a huge Tower cycle: My entire world has been uprooted, and it's been so necessary and so healing, and I'm wondering when the hell the cycle is going to end/begin anew.
This is a huge threshold, and I feel as if I've been sitting in the doorway for ages, waiting for the thing with a capital T that will finally push me through to the other side. But I keep hearing from my guides and seeing in my readings that there's still more excavation to be done before we start rebuilding.
I've always blown through these transitional periods, wanting desperately to get to the other side. I am now learning that this part of the cycle is not to be bypassed. It is, in fact, a very crucial piece of the journey (it is the journey). It just fucking sucks.
Knowing I'll likely be here for a while longer, how can I get comfortable here?
Gorgeous work. Gorgeous question. I'm honored to be able to speak to it.
How do you get comfortable here? I think by—you are already so far ahead with your wisdom on this (Lindsay laughs). You have an awareness of your tendency to sort of want to, like, speed past this part—by the way, you're in really good company—me too, and like everyone else in the world, like, you know, pretty much want to get past the phase that you're in and want to get to the building piece. This is kind of what we've been talking about this whole episode.
I also want to say before I launch into answering your question that I'm really holding a very compassionate and loving space for what you're going through because, god, these cycles of getting super-uprooted, and these Tower cycles are just brutal (Lindsay laughs). They really can be just so brutal. So I'm holding a big, big space of ease for you here and of the rebuild, hopefully, happening soon. So I just wanted to say that, too, but you're not alone in it.
And I do hear that you really feel like you've been in this shit forever and just I think you're asking the perfect question. You're not asking how to get out of it, you're aware that this is a really important initiation, that, in fact, this situation may be the thing that kind of winds up shifting the pattern of transitions for you in an ongoing way. Sometimes when we really break the cycle of wanting to get out, wanting to bypass, to get to the next thing, we actually can find that transitions happen a little quicker, in an ongoing way. So I also hope that that might be the case for you. And if it's not, that's okay, too.
[0:39:37]
So, how can you get comfortable here? A couple different things:
One is, quite literally, what helps you to move through times where the waiting, the transition, feels excruciating? And I'm inviting you to get very creative here, to get very, very curious. I went through a period back in 2019, where not—I don't know our situations are the same, but where I would describe it as a transition period, an excavation period, where the rebuilding just like would not happen. And I remember thinking like, “Oh my god, like, when is my life gonna start? Like what the fuck is going on?” And I could not really read Tarot about it, I could not really do a ton of practices about it. The only thing that helped was reading novels—horror novels, specifically (Lindsay laughs).
And I just got very into this one author and, like, consumed book after book, like, huge books of, like, sci-fi and horror. And that was, I can't describe to you how medicinal that was, to have a story to get lost in. It did not feel like bypassing to me, nor did it feel like dissociation. It felt like pleasure. It felt like there was nothing else for me to even be doing. Like, the excavation work was happening, I was processing so much in therapy.
My life—the less I kind of stuck my fingers into the spokes of the wheel, the more my life actually presented me with things to process, to clear, to acknowledge, actually, in a pretty surprising way, and really helped me to understand that I didn't have to be so—this is, again, my word to describe my own life—controlling about like, speeding up the excavation, or what gets excavated, or, you know, whatever it was.
So I have tried to go back and, like, reread some of those novels, and I kind of, like, can't. It's just… I don't know. They were really important in that season. Maybe one day, I'll be able to go back to them and connect with them again. But oh my god, so wonderful to be able to, like, have those just pop up during that season of my life. And who even knows why I thought of it? But it was great. It really was. It was great.
[0:42:25]
And there was kind of a, you know, I did my work, I journaled, I did therapy, I did, like my actual paid job, work, like, make courses, write whatever. And then I would like get into a bath, I would like fire up my Kindle, I'd read, and like, try to just be with whatever came up. And that was kind of my life for a little while.
So one of the things that I think there's such an emphasis in wellness and spirituality, I think to a detriment, around like certain things being like acceptable or meeting a certain criteria for seasons like what you're going through, and then certain things not. And what typically falls under the “no” category, in a way that sometimes, spoken or unspoken, overt or subtle, is like TV, movies, books that aren't, like, explicitly about growth and expansion and self-development. And I have just never been any, I've never been a person that subscribes to that, because I love TV. I love movies. I love to read novels. I do not need my life to be—I'm a complex person. I'm a person with a lot of interests and a lot of variety to my interests, and like, I am not a one-note person.
So I think that when we come into wellness, sometimes we think like, “Oh, these things don't match with the rest of me.” And I'm not sure if that's your experience, but I would say if you're finding yourself maybe not considering certain forms of entertainment or of engagement, I would really highly encourage you to check that and to see, like, is there something that would just bring so much joy?
And, you know, if you feel like “I'm doing too much of this,” keep an eye on it with yourself, with your family, with your processors. I think we can do way too much of a “good thing,” in terms of like what the wellness complex defines as being like the right things to do. We can totally lose ourselves in those practices. So, both require some presence of mind.
So you didn't ask me explicitly, like, what I did, but I use that as an example to say that there may be something that delights you or could be interesting, that you're not thinking of now, and maybe this can give you some permission to be like, “Is there like a book I can get lost in, like a book series, an author's work that I can just like, fall into, and really, like, enjoy and appreciate, so that I can be in it?” Because I promise you: it's not going to take away from the excavation work you're doing. It's only going to help keep you feeling, again, like, bolstered and nourished and cozy inside of some kind of entertainment, while you're going through this time. You're definitely not going to miss any of the cues.
[0:46:02]
Another way that you can get comfortable in this time is by really filling out your circles of support. So having a place to take these feelings, not feeling like you need to be over them, like really giving yourself permission with your therapist, with whomever you talk to—if you have someone to talk to, which I hope you do, and if that's accessible for you. Or journaling—if you don't right now, if this is not the season of your life—to really let yourself every day be like, “I hate this. I wish this were over, I can't stand it. When is it going to be over?” you know, and to honor that you don't need to like it. I think that's incredibly important.
We don't always like what we're going through, and we don't have to like it. Ideally, we want to be able to have the presence of mind to consider like, “Okay, is what I'm in, like, is there any way that I'm making it harder for myself? Is there's something here that I could be bringing about a different intention to?”—or whatever it is, totally valid.
But if we—I don't want you to equate comfort with, like, meeting it with acceptance doesn't mean that you can't tantrum, it doesn't mean that you can't be upset, and it doesn't mean that you can't absolutely wish that it's over, right? You can also bring practices to it, like Tarot Anchoring or potentially working with your deck or, again, like really leaning into processors and sources of support, and like, really be with this time as one of initiation.
Like, you're in it right now, and you're doing fucking great. So what are some of the things you could pull into this little container that you're in, that might help you to find some joy in conjunction with the work you're doing? It doesn't need to be separate, because the building will come. Like, if there's some part of you that needs to hear that: the building will come. You want to—and I think you totally know this so I’m just affirming what your knowing is, letting me know in your question—you want to be able to not have to take anything in your backpack with you into this rebuilding time that is superfluous, right? And that's the function of this time.
It sucks. It stinks. I hate it, too. When something is just all excavation, all Tower work, and it's just like, “Oh my god, can I get out of the winter and into the new growth here for, like, a fucking second, you know, like really?” (Lindsay laughs) And you will get there, but I would say really, really take an inventory, like what do you like? What do you enjoy? What do you appreciate? What is feeling good to you right now? And try very hard not to judge that. Try very, very hard not to judge that.
It could be so fucking random for you. It could be—not that this is random, but it could be collecting vinyl. It could be birdwatching, it could be… who knows (Lindsay laughs), really anything. Like what is drawing you in right now? And you may not know it at this moment, but I guarantee you, if you start asking the question, it'll come more fully forward.
[0:49:55]
I also think, again, that second part of this is that one of the ways to get comfortable is to be really comfortable with the fact that you don't like it, and you really kind of wish this particular season would end, you know? That, I think, is the gateway for all of us to be in greater acceptance of like, “Okay, you know, this isn't my favorite. I'm really excited for the next thing, but I'm here. So what are some of the things I can do to help myself, to be permissioned enough to feel all of my feelings about that?” Because I think that is a part of this, too. It's not about, again, being like “totally cool” with what we're going through, but about actually giving ourselves the space to have all of our feelings around it.
And I'll leave you with, you know, something that really helps me when I connect to my own Tower cycles is remembering that The Tower doesn't immediately follow The Sun card, which is definitely a time of clarity and illumination and awareness and building and rebirth. First, we got to hit The Star, right? We have to connect with The Star. And then we have The Moon, where nothing feels clear. Those are—I mean, The Star is a beautiful energy. But if we're longing for rebuild time, like, those are not the places that we typically want to land in light of that.
So just having compassion with yourself and knowing that the seasons of your life are most definitely following that track and that the rebuilding will come and the excavation will end, I think is powerful to bear in mind. But letting yourself have the feelings that you have about it today, in this moment, along the way, is just as important. So thank you so much for asking me this question.
Thank you to everyone who sent in your questions, whether I answered them or not. I'm always honored to, you know, even have your consideration that I could (Lindsay laughs), you know? And you sharing them with me is an honor. So thank you to Joss, and thank you to everyone.
—
[Conclusion]
[0:52:27]
So we've reached the end of our time, and before I wrap up and say my goodbye, I just want to be clear about where you can continue to connect with the work, if that's what you would like to do, on my little break.
So I will have monthly emails going out. A lot of that has been prepped and kind of channeled in advance. And they're not Monthly Medicine emails, but they are really sweet and their own kind of, like, little offering in light of them.
So I would say the first invitation is that if you're not signed up to my newsletter, I would invite you to do that, and there is the link to do so in the show notes. You can also go to either of my websites, lindsaymack.com or tarotforthewildsoul.com, and it leads you to the same newsletter, and it will be very easy for you to sign up, to stay in touch with what I'm doing, or when the podcast might be coming back. And so, that's one thing.
For those of you who are sort of on the fence about signing up for the newsletter, starting in the holiday season of 2021, a couple months ago, I just started playing for the first time with bundling and doing seasonal sales, and I have another huge seasonal sale coming up around the Summer Solstice. So if you're interested in getting discounts, that's also another great way to have access to that because those things really only get extended to my newsletter subscribers, early birds, and such.
Because I'm no longer facilitating courses, like doing live Q&A’s or Q&A round-ups, the courses are just running on their own—it's also a great thing to do to sign up to my newsletter so you know when those launches are happening. Then you can check out the courses and classes pages on both sites to engage with those or invest in those if that's what you wish. You have the backlog of these podcasts. You have my journal entries on tarotforthewildsoul.com. There's really kind of a bevy of medicine for you to engage with.
I also, even beyond engaging with my work, hope that you will continue, you know, expanding and enriching your practice, because you don't need anyone, any person, to give you the keys to that; you've got them. And I hope that you will continue to find your way and explore your deck and learn more and more about yourself and about these cards through living them.
So I am not here, but I'm here. And there's certainly so much to engage with and explore. So I hope that even though there might not be work happening, new work happening right now, you will find some nourishment, if you want to dive in a little bit more, either in yourself or in your own practice, or in the work that's been created in my various learning spaces.
So, thank you so much for being here, Wild Souls. I love you so much! Thank you for being here, whether you've been here for a day or for all of these years. And until we connect again, whenever that might be, please take exquisite care of yourselves and of your loved ones.