169. Making Different Choices with Eight of Cups
Jump to:
Listen | Show Notes | Transcript
How can we honor the cycles that we are complete with? How do we make space for the grief and tantruming that can arise when we release what we are no longer meant to carry? Today on the podcast, we look to Eight of Cups as a powerful anchor for these kinds of experiences, exploring it as a continuation of our deep work with our card for the month of September, Ten of Wands.
Listen
About the Episode
Together, we will look at the gifts of Eight of Cups and how it can help us to let go and make different choices in our lives, as well as assist us in honoring the fullness of our emotional process. I also answer a listener's question about whether or not we can ever truly know when it's time to let go, and so much more.
Links:
Last day to apply for a Full Scholarship to Heart of Service
Learn about my upcoming course, Heart of Service
Sign up to receive written Monthly Medicine Missives!
Got Q's? Ask Lindsay here.
Sign up for Rewilding the Tarot
Land Acknowledgement
Honoring and acknowledging that this podcast episode was recorded on the unceded land of The Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde, currently called Portland, OR, with the deepest respect to the Kalapuya Tribe, Cowlitz Tribe, and Atfalati Tribe.
Please Note
CW Tags: Death, grief, and inherited generational patterns
The content in this episode contains references to death, grief, and inherited generational patterns. We have done our best to identify difficult subject matter, but the labels may not be comprehensive for your personal needs. Please honor your knowing and proceed with necessary self-awareness and care.
Transcript
[Introduction]
[0:00:00]
Hello Loves, this is just a very quick announcement to let you know that today, Friday, September Tenth, is the last day to apply for a full scholarship to my upcoming course, Heart of Service. Those applications will close tonight at 9 pm Pacific, midnight Eastern.
Heart of Service is a seven-week, online, intuitive Tarot immersion for folks who desire to shift into soul-guided, Spirit-led service, opening to the innate magic and medicine that lives within them. It's for artists, it's for creatives, it's for people who own their own businesses, who want to, anyone who desires to align their service with their integrity, with their beliefs, with really the spark of their soul, which is a very, very powerful, raw, and courageous thing to do.
The course runs from October 8 to November 19, and will likely be the last live offering I will do until Autumn, Fall of 2022, because I'll be away on maternity leave. So if you wanted to work with me in this kind of capacity with this kind of course, this is a great opportunity, and I would love to. It would be an honor to work with you.
So if you'd like to apply for a full at-need scholarship, I’d really encourage you to do so. You can do so by going to the link at the show notes for today's episode. You can also go to lindsaymack.com and I believe there is a link to the scholarship applications in the banner of that website. You can also go to the course page which you can find show notes, website, anywhere (Lindsay laughs).
Thank you so much for listening to this, Wild Souls. I look forward to connecting with those of you who desire to be a part of the course. And yeah, I hope that everybody who wants to apply for a scholarship has the opportunity to do so.
—
(Instrumental intro music)
Welcome to Tarot for the Wild Soul, a weekly podcast that explores the Tarot through an inclusive, soul-centered, trauma-informed perspective for growth, healing, and evolution. I'm your host, Lindsay Mack.
[0:02:16]
Hello Loves and welcome to a new episode of the podcast. As always, it's such a joy and a delight to be gathered with all of you. It was so lovely to get to dive into our card for the month of September last week, which we went over in some pretty thorough detail, which is Ten of Wands.
Ten of Wands is really holding the torch, holding the flame. It is our anchor for this entire month. And although we went over it in really beautiful detail to sort of all of the ways that Ten of Wands can show up as an anchor, as a teacher, what it's inviting us to pay attention to, how that connects to, you know, the larger thread of the invitation of September, we spoke about how the month of September is really holding the possibility, the space, of a huge shift; something that can bring us from the internal work we've been doing to an external change.
And sometimes that external change is really quiet, really personal. It could be that we speak our boundaries in a way we never have before. Right? And it's a quiet moment, but a huge victory to us. That's a shift. It doesn't always have to be some huge thing. Yeah, and that Ten of Wands really holds this huge space of what's possible and what is required of a shift like that. Right?
So being willing to take an inventory of what we're holding and what doesn't work anymore, and why we picked up certain wands in the first place, and what does it mean to put them down, certain wands, and never pick them up again? What does it mean to pick others up and hold them with others, and reach out for support and prioritize that in a different way?
And there's often a lot of emotion that comes up with that. And we spoke a lot last week about, like, what does it mean to put a wand down? Why would we put a wand down? Why do certain “wands” — like I put that in quotes — why are certain wands meant to be laid down?
Like sometimes we love the wands that we’re holding, we just can't hold them anymore. We wanted so badly to be able to offer them or to hold them or to say that we could do it, but we just can't, or a part of us just wasn't able to. How do we meet ourselves in the midst of that grief, that disappointment? How do we hold those feelings, right?
So it's spoken about last week, this sort of new format that we're diving into on the podcast, which is that we're not letting go of the card and the theme for the month ahead, in the first episode. We're carrying it with us into all of our subsequent episodes, so that we're still talking about the Tarot and diving into all kinds of different topics, but that it's really staying rooted in where we are now, which I think is really lovely and useful.
So in light of that branch of the Ten of Wands tree, what it means to put something down, to say goodbye, we are looking to — for medicine and clarity and for wisdom, around this kind of brave act of leaving behind and making different choices, and, you know, honoring our grief around such things — we're looking to our first anchor card around our Ten of Wands work this month, in today's episode, which is Eight of Cups.
[0:06:06]
So the title of this episode is “Making Different Choices with Eight of Cups” and I think “making different choices” is, it's a great way to put it. Because we can spend our whole lives trying to keep those wands, trying to keep those cups, trying to hold on to what we have outgrown, what we can no longer do, what is not aligned for us or working for us, that doesn't mean that we're always going to like it or appreciate it. It often means that it is a watershed moment for us, these moments when we realize, like “holy shit, the thing that I've been really wanting, I'm not able to do it,” or “the thing that I was hoping for, is not panning out the way I want it to,” right? These are huge, again, huge moments, and there's no way to romanticize them— and that's certainly not what we're doing here.
But we are looking at, when we contextualize this idea of what it means to put all of our wands down, what we're passionate about, what we enjoy, what we cherish, what we hold, what we're responsible for, and what we give, through what we devote our time and our energy to, when we put all of them down and take an inventory and realize, “This wand, these two wands, are the center point of, you know, why I'm exhausted, why I'm in resistance, why, if this wasn't here, it would be different,” or “If my relationship to these wands were different, my life would be a lot easier. I don't know that I'm the best person to hold them (Lindsay laughs). Like, I think there might be another wand out there that is much easier for me to carry.”
Now easy, doesn't necessarily mean that we're taking an easier route. It just means that it's a more graceful, easeful decision for us, maybe for our health or mental wellbeing or whatever it might be. But the making different choices piece comes in when we realize, “Oh, I'm continuing to pick up a wand that doesn't serve me. And I've never actually unpacked why I'm continuing to pick it up, or even why it's a part of my Ten Wands.”
[0:08:36]
And we talked about that last week, like, where did that wand that doesn't quite fit with the rest, where did it come from? So many of us make these decisions in our lives from places where we were much, much younger, operating from very old beliefs. A lot of us make decisions to like, get back at people (Lindsay laughs), and like, make people jealous. And our only goal is we want to be huge or famous or successful, but we're not actually thinking about the day-to-day. We're not actually thinking about: what is the larger vision of life that's going to make me happy, align with my value system, et cetera?
For some of us, it's a matter of guilt, or of inherited responsibility or shame, like, “Who am I not to pick this up? Everyone in my family has picked up this wand. Who am I not to pick up this wand. I've never heard anybody else talk about how valuable it would be to put it down.” You know, sometimes when we're surrounded by a certain kind of opinion or worldview, it's very, very challenging in our community or our chosen family or blood family or other family, family of origin, it's really hard to go against a worldview that’s shared and say: I'm actually not going to pick up this wand.
So again, Eight of Cups is an incredibly powerful anchor that can help us to massage into this idea, to deepen into the medicine, of Ten of Wands, and also of our work for this month, where we're unpacking what it is to initiate a new cycle and make different choices, calling support when we need it, and most specifically to our topic today, lay down what's not ours to carry.
[0:10:33]
So whether we're talking about Wands or Cups— I know a lot of people get very hung up, but it's important to so many people to really understand like, “Well, what's the difference between the Wands and the Cups? And aren't the Wands about passion? And the cups are about emotion? How can we weave the two together?” Here's the truth, is that the suits absolutely correlate and center different topics in life, right?
The Wands kind of rule over our energetic capacity, our drive, that inner flame, our adrenals; that's the way we look at it in Soul Tarot, right? The Cups, the whole suit on hand is really about loving ourselves and about honoring our wisdom, our intuition, our innate knowing, and trusting our timing. It ultimately has absolutely nothing the fuck to do (Lindsay laughs) with romantic or relational love. It has everything to do with us saying: I honor you, I trust you, we're going to take the time that this takes.
All of the suits have that same goal in mind. The Wands say, “I want to love my whole system enough to make choices that are in alignment with my energetic capacity. So I don't want to do anything that's going to completely overwhelm my capacity to cope.” Now, are we human beings? Do we sometimes have to be in situations — fortunately, or unfortunately — that are very overwhelming, are very intense, are very highly pressured? Of course, but the Wands help to keep us in check with that.
We can burn really hot for a long time, and then get way overheated, and that's when we can bring it back into balance. Some of us like to run a little hotter and a little faster. That's great. We don't need to keep it all like never breaking a sweat here. The Wands are about keeping that in check. Just checking in, like, where are we? Where's the fire? And are we keeping an eye on it? Right? But the ultimate goal is the love of ourselves.
[0:12:49]
It's the same thing with the Cups: how do we honor decision making? How do we honor the time it takes for us to process something? How do we honor our emotionality? It’s a huge reparenting.
The Pentacles are the same thing: how do I honor my soul work, my body, this vessel? How do I plant the seeds I'm meant to plant and tend them without apology? You know, the Pentacles are really, they're pretty radically about boundaries, even starting with just the Two of Pentacles. Right out of the gate, what we're really looking at in this card is like how can we offer our devotional discernment to what's ours to tend to, to grow, so that ultimately we can offer it to our community. We can offer these things that we're growing out, but it's an ongoing process.
And the exact same thing is true for the Swords. The Swords are the ultimate reparenting. Like, how do we investigate our thinking? How do we go into the pool, into the tunnel, so to speak with our inner kid and be like, “Yeah, here's the thought, the belief, the story. Oh my God, this thing might happen. This terrible outcome might occur.” What's the truth? What's really needed? What's happening underneath the noise in the mind, right? All of them move to the same place.
We can be highly emotional in a Swords card, we can be deeply creative in a Cup card, like it's not so much. So all that to say (Lindsay laughs), little primer on the suits, all that to say that it's very easy to see how a Cup card could support a Wands process right especially when we're talking about the bigness of what it means to lay a wand down that we're no longer meant to carry. You know the Cups can really help us with that.
[0:14:38]
So the first step with our work in this card is saying goodbye to what has been here and what no longer serves. That is ultimately the medicine and the invitation of Eight of Cups. It is a great leaving behind of something usually that we have cherished, that we have worked for, we have longed for, we have pined for, maybe bled for and sweated for. We have worked our asses off to get those Eight Cups, like, we have worked. If we really look at that suit, we're losing Cups, we're gaining cups, cups are spilled, cups are… it's no joke what we're building to.
And all of us have had some kind of experience with Eight of Cups. It could be the ending of a relationship, right? It could also be our business shifting. And I want to really offer an array of possibilities here. It could be that you had a brick and mortar or an online business that you had to close down, or you had to shut down for one reason or another, be it financial, logistical. And that's, I mean, completely heartbreaking, to say the least. For some folks, it might be a relief. But for a lot of people, the intensity of what it took to get there, to open this business is devastating to, again, to say the least. And for some people, so much is put into “I'm going to try this offering, I'm going to try this way of doing it,” it just doesn't seem to click, we can't find our way, or we can't find an audience, and so we have to pivot in some way.
For some of us, it's trying to make our lives into something that will get us approval, that will get us awards, that will get us this, that will get us that. There's a realization in Eight of Cups, like, “I just can't do it anymore. It's not mine to do, I can't do it. Even though I tried, even though I treasured this, even though I wanted it to work out, it just didn't.” And it's not a failure.
[0:17:08]
Now, if you feel that sense of failure, I'm not here to necessarily take that away from you, or negate that. You're allowed to feel whatever you want. And I'm also gonna repeat that heart voice coming through on the other side in saying that it's impossible for us to fail. If we have tried something and put ourselves out there, we've done more than probably 90% of the people on this planet (Lindsay laughs) who, like, it's rare to meet somebody who actually puts themselves out there, moves out of their comfort zones, a hell of a lot easier.
Brene Brown speaks to this. I'm not as familiar with Brene Brown’s work, but I do know that she has a wonderful phrase and wonderful quote that I don't know directly, that ultimately says, “It's a hell of a lot easier to criticize when you're not in the ring.” It's a lot easier to have comments when you're not actually in the mix, right? And many of you may be familiar with the thing that I'm paraphrasing, but it's true.
And so you can't fail. You can't fail; every single action that we take leads us to somewhere different, somewhere new. And as a business owner myself, I can tell you that what many would perceive as failures have been some of my most important lessons. So I think there really is something to be said about that.
But no matter how we, you know, may frame it, may be anything, there's still a sense of enormous grief and loss, and a huge shift, emotionally, that comes with saying goodbye, that comes with the acknowledgement like, “Wow, this no longer serves me.” It did, right?
And again, I want to make even more space, like I have been through so many Eight of Cups in my time with my business, and my business is still successful and flowing. I've had a million iterations of this podcast that have come and gone because I keep evolving, and so the offering keeps evolving.
When I started my rebranding process, like really like a year ago, I had so many tears to weep because it was — as silly as it sounds — like my offerings are really like, in a way, in a different way than human children, like they're the closest things I know to being beloved children. And it was really intense to, like, change things and split the offerings up, and it was a lot to, like, change the house that they were living in. And I know for a lot of people they would just be like, “Oh, whatever. Rebranding? No big deal.” It was a big deal to me. You know, it was a huge deal to me.
[0:19:50]
So this is a Cups thing, too. Nobody gets to judge your experience with what is sad or scary or intense to put down. So that's step one. With any huge shift, with any shift that we undertake, there is an inevitability that we're going to have some sense of grief come up around what cannot come with us. And there will be an important, crucial time where it will be crucial for us to process: what were we trying to do with that thing that didn't quite make it?
What did we want? Did we succeed in what we wanted? Did we receive what we were hoping for, or did we not? Is it extremely painful because now, on the other side, we're realizing, “Oh my God, like, this wand could have never gotten me what I wanted. I can't ever get that. Another person can't give it to me. I can only give it to me,” or is it something completely different? Like “I did everything right. Why didn't it work?” Or is there an awareness like, “This is absolutely the right time to put this down, but I'm still devastated,” right?
How do we honor any and all of those questions, any and all feelings, that come up around the realization that certain wands, certain cups, are not meant to always come with us in the midst of a big shift, right? How do we move through these cycles, especially when we're saying goodbye to something we've cherished, or something that other people have cherished?
[0:21:34]
You know, in preparing to teach Heart of Service in a month or two — or in a month, in about a month (Lindsay laughs) — you don't often hear about the importance of what we put down in our business journeys, or the death cycles that we go through with our business, what others might perceive as failures, right? Or the recognition that we've gone as far as we can, that ultimately, we've outgrown something, or that the something wants to change shape in some way, and it's really hard to say yes to that process.
And as a matter of fact, most people don't, most people cling on for dear life, because they're too afraid of the idea that letting go of what has absolutely energetically died, for one reason or another, that there won't be anything left. And so what winds up happening is that we stay a bit too long, and without even realizing it, we're bypassing the emotion and the process work and all of the stuff that lives under it that is so necessary for not just processing, but grieving and making space for something new.
And it can be really hard, especially when it's not only something that we have really cherished, doing, but that other people have cherished, right? There's been lots of things that I've done that other people have been like, “What? You're not bringing that back?” And I'm like, “I’m sorry, no (Lindsay laughs). It's not because anything was wrong with it. I have just, I've outgrown it.”
And so honoring that full cycle of grief, honoring the process, making room to really name what these Cups what these Wands have brought us is the medicine. And whenever we shift — and that's what this month is about — whenever we shift, no matter what, we are making space for that kind of work. Anytime we have a big shift where we bring all the internal work we do to the external in some way, shape or form, whether it be big or small, there is absolutely like a creation aspect we're shifting toward, we're bringing in, there's always a leaving behind always.
And by allowing for our process, the grief, the stories, the review, the inventory: why did I pick up this wand in the first place? Is this an inherited wand? If so, what were the beliefs that my ancestors held, or that my community holds, about this? What did I try to do with this wand? How can I honor that I tried to do the best I could, I did the best I could with the information I had? What does it mean to move forward without this? What does that look like? How can I make room for whatever is coming up in me about that?
Eight of Cups, and certainly Ten of Wands, both to support us as anchors in that wholly necessary work that is a huge part of shifting. And that absolutely is crucial when it comes to us making different choices.
[0:25:10]
Working with Ten of Wands in this kind of way, especially when we're centering the idea of the wands we're putting down and we're not going to pick back up, there's something that changes in us forever when we do that, when we give ourselves permission to say, even though we might be terrified, even though we might be, our brain might be, screaming at us with doubt and terror, “What the fuck are you doing?”
But when there is a recognition like, “I have picked up this wand my whole life out of obligation and grief, and I'm not going to do it anymore, and it's okay. If everyone hates me for it, it's okay. If everyone thinks I'm a bad person, or a bad kid, or whatever, I refuse. No, thank you, I'm not going to do it. And I hope you, family member, you, community member, don't do it anymore either.” I hope that this is an opportunity for you to see what's possible.
By us just not picking the wand back up, even once, even a couple times, right, we make room to make different choices. It is not an accident that after Eight of Cups, we move into the Nine where we start growing and gestating our wishes, something new, something so much more aligned. And then we move into the Ten, which ultimately is about like how can we be present with the joy and the abundance that we have in any moment, rather than being constantly on the journey for more, for this for that, but it sets the stage for us to make different choices than maybe were made for us, maybe than we made before. And again, you know, that idea of making different choices, it's a huge, huge part of a big shift.
Any time, right, we do tons and tons of work, to try to grow, to evolve, to shift our patterning or our behavior, right, we know that it's not done overnight, and a lot of internal work has to happen in order to create the conditions for us to make an external change. That's exactly what Eight of Cups can help to support us with in our larger kind of Ten of Wands process.
[0:27:31]
So I invite you to really sit with this: like, when have you been in an Eight of Cups process? When has there been a time when you've put all those wands down and realized, “I'm not going to pick these wands back up anymore?” What did that do? What did that bring up in you?
For many of us, there's almost an immediate ego-thinking-mind — and ego and think mind aren’t problems; they're just protectors that are sometimes a little bit too heavy on the protection (Lindsay laughs) in the way of, like, keeping us too safe, not too expand, not too in the realm of our soul work. But um, not a problem. Just not always the parts of ourselves that we want in the driver's seat.
But often there's an instant kickback from those parts of us that are like, “What the fuck are you doing? You can't make this decision. You can't do this differently than how other people are doing it. What are people going to say about you? What are they going to think? Everyone's gonna think you're a failure. No one's gonna think…” like, all these things.
How do we find our way through that? Because there's no way around it, you know, we have to go through it. So I invite you to think about, like, when have you gone through something like that? It could have been something very small, when you were younger, even doing something different with school friends, in grade school. Like it could have been something much, much bigger.
Like, when have you moved through this kind of a process? What did it teach you? And how can you, in the process of any kind of shift that you may make, from internal to external, in placing certain wands down and not picking them back up, and leaving those cups behind, how can room be made for any and all feelings that we may be having, instead of pushing them away or hiding them or bypassing them or attempting to cling on to the wands or the cups that are absolutely so past their prime? But we're afraid, right? We're afraid of the rawness of the feeling. We're afraid of the void of the unknown.
How do we honor what's happening in us, leaning into the most courageous, heart centered work around our feelings, and those areas, and by doing so, make space for different things to come in, make room for different possibilities and different choices?
So next week, we're going to talk about another branch of the Ten of Wands tree and sort of, you know, other pieces that Ten of Wands can bring us into. But for this week, again, I think it's really important. We can't talk about Ten of Wands without speaking to the wands we're not taking with us. And in not taking them with us, it can bring up a lot, and Eight of Cups can be very powerful balm for that kind of work. So, I hope that for whatever it's worth, this is supportive to you this week and beyond.
[0:30:34]
And I'm actually going to shift into a question that was asked, that's really aligned with this idea. The question comes from Katherine. So Katherine asks, “How do you know when it's time to move on from something, aka, leave something behind in its current iteration? And how best can we deal with the grief/tantruming of that painful move towards something new and different?”
It's a great question. So I think, I think this situation — unfortunately, I would love to be able to give an answer (Lindsay laughs) like, “This is how, you know.” I think it's different for all of us, depending on the situation. And I think that sometimes we figure out, “Whoa, it's time for me to move on.” Sometimes we find that out, we discover it in a process situation, if we're verbally processing, or we’re with a therapist where, like, that can absolutely happen.
How it can also happen is — I have found for myself — is that it often, that understanding, comes seemingly out of nowhere and is really just a blanket, clear, rooted understanding that it's time to do something. It's not like I tune in, and I get all this guidance and feedback. It really is that often, I will go to have a phone call with someone, record a thing, engage with a project and just think, “This is complete. Like I'm not meant to do this anymore.”
So I think there is, I’m not sure, but I think there's something about the doing of something, rather than kind of being in a vacuum from it, or the checking in with something, I mean, not necessarily checking in with Spirit, although that's great, but I think where we can, sometimes when we go to reach for, even slightly reach for, sometimes even just energetically reach for something, or the idea of connecting with someone or whatever. I think when we know it's time to move on, there's just such a clear understanding of like, “I cannot, even for a second, engage with this. This is just… it's done.”
So I don't know that there's ever a moment when we're going to feel okay with that realization. I don't know that for any of us, there'll ever be a time where we're absolutely trusting in that knowing. I don't know that. In fact, I think when I tend to get really worked up, and like in my head about like, “I have to leave. This sucks, blah, blah, blah,” it's often not time for me to go yet. I just really want it to be (Lindsay laughs). Like, you know, I don't know if other people feel similarly to that. But in my personal experience, when it's time for me to move on. It's like a rock hitting a body of water. It's so clear to me that something is complete. It's just a shift. And I think waiting for that shift is great.
Sometimes we don't always have the clarity of that moment. I think listening to the body, like checking in with the body, sometimes I've had experiences where it was like time for me to move on, like three years before I actually did it. But I think those experiences, while incredibly painful and sticky and intense, often helped teach us as human beings like, “Oh, this is a great example of what happens when I stay too long. And that was all necessary, but I don't necessarily have to do it again.”
[0:34:20]
So I think the more we're in touch with ourselves, the more we can sense into that, just like clear feeling. I know for me that knowing of, like, something's done, is often immediately accompanied with grief. Even if I wanted it to be done for a while, the understanding that it's finally kind of time and happening for the process to start, and you spoke to this, “How do we, how best can we deal with the grief and tantruming of that painful move towards something new and different?” I think just making space: the way you would for a child, the way you would for a beloved friend, the way you would for someone or something very dear to you.
Grief is a storm that, when it comes, has to be honored, has to be paid attention to. And I think when grief comes, it's really smart to let it be there. We don't need to make it go away. We don't need to do anything. We just need to be with it, literally, like slough the tears off, like let them come. Sometimes grief is accompanied with some rage. It's less about crying, like letting it be there, finding safe spaces to vent that, to express that. And tantruming, of course, of course, we would tantrum, making sure that —if this kind of a practice resonates with you, it really does with me, personally — I like to talk to my mind.
And I like to tell it like, “I appreciate your tantruming. I know that you do not like change, and know that you want to keep me safe in what's known. You don't like shakeups. I get it, that's your nature, and I love you for it. And I want you to know, it's okay to change, and it's okay that we're upset. It's okay, this is hard. It's okay for us to do hard things.” And I think talking to my inner kid, for me personally, is a really crucial thing to be able to say to them, like, “You're safe, and I've got you, and yeah, it's really hard. It's really, really hard.”
I think full-hearted, radical honoring is the only way through a situation like that. So grief and tantruming they suck to feel, but they're good signs. It's usually very strong clarity that, “Oh, something is ready to be dislodged. Something that we are making room for something new.”
[0:36:48]
This is perhaps not the most useful example: but I remember that when I moved from New York to Oregon, in the beginning of 2020, I had known we were moving for so many months before that and had processed everything and had like, I mean, it was a rite of passage, that move. It was not just like “plan the move,” it was hugely energetic, like leaving that space behind and moving into something different.
And when I landed in Oregon, I was in like my inner child self for like two weeks straight. I was just constantly crying, so upset, so cranky, like, feeling like we'd made a terrible mistake, like everything was wrong in the place we'd moved into. And I remember — you know, not constantly— but I do remember, like, I absolutely leaned fully into my support systems and my processors, and had all the care that I could receive in that space so that it wasn't getting taken out on loved ones.
But it was a trauma for me, personally, whereas for some people a big move wouldn't be a big deal. It was a huge deal to my nervous system. And I was okay with the tantruming. I knew the truth: I knew that our move was perfect. I knew that it was aligned. And I also knew that it was completely understandable that it would feel so overwhelming for me, and I just made space.
And honestly, by making space, it helped to burn off whatever was remaining. And then after that I felt very rooted here. I don't miss New York at all, you know, and New York is great. I just don't miss it.
So I think sometimes, I don't know, but there I think sometimes there is a kind of a correlation between tantruming (Lindsay laughs) and like, actually burning something off, almost like a fever. So I don't think we have to try to calm it or temper it. I do think the way we express it and how we're identifying with it is crucial. Being able to say, “this is my experience,” rather than acting out of the tantrum is crucial. But making, again, making radical space, I think is the only way to be with that process. Because we don't know why sometimes we have the responses to things that we do. We only know that we do. And as much as we can try to be compassionate and tender with ourselves, we'll be all the better for it, you know.
So I hope that helped, Katherine. Thank you so much for asking that question.
—
[Instrumental exit music]
[Conclusion]
[0:39:33]
So thank you, as always for tuning in, Loves. I'm loving this new format. I hope you are, too. I'm really looking forward to diving into sort of the next branch of our tree next week in our month-long exploration of what it is to shift, what it is to work with Ten of Wands as our anchor for the entire month.
And I'm just wishing you a really sweet, really supportive week and until we meet again, please take exquisite care of yourself.